Monday, Sep 14 2009 - Monday, Septmenber 14
View CECILY55's food & exercise for this day
"The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place... and I donīt care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently, if you let it. You, me or nobody, is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit... It's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. Thatīs how winning is done. Now, if you know what you worth, then go out and get what you worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying: You ainīt what you wanna be because of him or her or anybody. Cowards do that and that ainīt you! Youīre better than that!" (Rocky Balboa)
In this scene, Rocky is 60 plus--older than me. Somehow that is the most inspiring part, because at 59 I am not particularly happy with where my life is right now. And that scene is right on--for 25 years or more I have been pointing fingers and saying it was someone else's fault I am where I am. And that's true--it was someone else's fault, sort of. But it was my fault that I stayed there. I've had multiple chances to fix this and I pretty much blew them all. Now I'm stuck in a dead-end job that I can't stand--the reality is that I can't quit because I need the paycheck, but I can work to get out and do something better, something I like to do, something that is fueled by passion. So everyday I am going to plan to get out and move on, to dream for something better than I'm doing now, to get on with my life.
(1) In this grand plan, one thing I need to do is lose some weight. This morning I weighed 165.5--about 20 pounds more than I weighed in April and about 40 pounds more than I should weigh. It is a fact of life that being lean makes it easier to change jobs, to get ahead. This is something I can deal with, it is 100% within my control. I can do this.
(2) Pain/discomfort. This is a drag on my energy and on me. This morning my back hurts, though it may get better throughout the day. I can do stretching and strengthening exercises and drop some weight and that is going to help, but I will probably need some medical help with this. Who do I work with on this? Maybe Dr. Sharma?
(3) The plan. Where do I want to go? What do I want to do? My first thought is that I want to work in health care, but more in policy than in service, I think. I also want to write. First steps: (1) contact Uwe Reischl (2) Write, write, write; develop my thoughts (3) Public speaking/presentation. (4) Research, research, research
(1) Eat right/exercise with a goal in mind. Work on appearance. Moving forward is all about "first impressions." Great ideas won't go anywhere if no one will listen.
(2) Develop a plan at work. This isn't much of a job, but it does pay the bills and I have to say that they have treated me well. However, I can probably do a good (if not better job) if I simply focus on my job 6 hours per day. That gives me a full 2-3 hours per day to work on my personal projects. I just need to define these projects so I can get done what needs to be done.
(3) Work with Sharma (to start)--get my life in order. Also make an appointment with Lyla.
(4) Write/research/write/research/write/research. Define my thoughts, research the facts, develop my positions.
(5) Money. Unfortunately this ugly detail has some bearing on the day-to-day stuff. First: I need to mine our personal finances--there is money there for the taking. This is low-hanging fruit. Second: weight-loss contests are doable. It's about finding the right ones, managing the dates, and losing the weight. Since I want to lose weight anyway, I just as well make $$ while doing it. Third: write. I think there is money to be made from my rather unique transgender experience. I just need to get it down on paper/electrons. Fourth: find a better paying job.
It's 4:30 and today has gone OK. I haven't accomplished as much as I would have liked, but it hasn't been too bad either. I read through all the current Energy-Related emails, updated the IPC trial balance, and caught up on the news with all the associated folks around here. I also cleaned up all the coffee cups and plastic food containers that have accumulated in my office. Blood sugar is good--99 at 4:30.
I have a couple of doc appointments tomorrow, so I need to get my thoughts together for the visits.
Dr. Sharma: back still hurts, though lower and more to the side. GI problems seem to have alleviated. Post procedure some visible blood in urine, but it disappeared w/in 2 days. Levaquin stopped 9/12; oxycontin stopped 9/11. Moderate-severe pain (8/10) on 9/9; better 9/10; returned to work 9/11. Stiff and sore last 2-3 days/general malaise. Questions: (1) is chronic pain a problem with PKD? Should I consider this to be on-going issue? What do I do about it/how do I manage it? Reference: article on pain management in ADPKD (2001) Assumption: no injury from activity with pain from cysts. Referral to pain specialist? (2) Arthritis pain in hands? BC cut Lovasa and pain seems coincident with stopping meds. (3) Intermittent GI problems: constipation/intermittent early satiety w/ over-eating. Referral to dietitician associated with lap-band? Meds?
Any other info or suggestions?
Dr. Gustavel: (1) Left shoulder pain 5-6 months, interfering w/ activity. Injection? (2) Levaquin 4 weeks--any issues/concerns. (3) Achilles tendons very sore/stiff bilaterally last few days. Levaquin related?