LYNNABEL's Jun 2004 CalorieKing Blog

Thursday, June 24th 2004

Its been busy here at my second job, and when its busy I want to quit. I mean, I want to quit more than usual. I got two calls from the recruiter working with N on the position I interviewed for. She said in one that I was best qualified candidate so far and in the next one that their last interview is tomorrow and hopefully she will be calling me on Monday for either a second interview or with an offer. Wow. I haven't really processed that information yet. I suppose because it isn't final. I'd ...

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Tuesday, June 22nd 2004

I can journal for a moment before leaving for Job No. 2. God, is this getting old - the two-jobs gig. I still have heard from N about the position. I did send an email to the recruiter inquiring, so perhaps I'll hear back from her. S still can't get over the fact that she called at 10pm - I guess I don't think it was very professional, but she explained the rush so it doesn't bother me too much. Plus - I work in a company where the lives of 4 vulnerable adults are on my shoulders 24 hours a day,...

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Thursday, June 17th 2004

Something is very wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm so edgy and I just want to cry. I'm alone, I could cry, but the tears just won't come. I'm so angry and frustrated. I think its about work, but I don't know. I hurt physically, and I'm sad and frustrated and I feel so defensive. I don't know what to do. I don't have the energy to self talk through this. I thought I had an internal handle on my work frustrations - akin to just live through them without making a huge deal out of anything in ord...

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Wednesday, June 16th 2004

I am so restless. I can barely sit still. I cannot imagine being at work all day today. But I can't justify taking the day off. There is just nothing to do. What should I do? Get a book and eat out? That's an option. I may have to because sitting here is not working.

I ended up leaving work around 2 - I was in tons of pain. The doctor's appointment went well, but he pulled off the tape covering the incisions and while it didn't hurt, it freaked me out I think. I felt neasous and queazy and ...

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Tuesday, June 15th 2004

I have lots of time to journal tonight. I'm back at the dealership after a week and a half off. I've gotten several compliments on the weight loss this evening and those who knew about the surgery were very kind. I think a significantly smaller chest just makes me look more slender in general. I'm enjoying this quiet physical confidence - I don't remember the last time I felt so unconsciously sure of myself physically. Yes, I do, actually. College - after my sophomore year. I have a very clear m...

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