Tuesday, Nov 23 2004
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I am slipping back into my old, bad habits at work – the sense that no one is doing anything right so my attitude towards my coworkers is less than…what?...kind? I need to stop this before it gets out of hand.
I read about this last night in my book. Let’s see. What are the underlying automatic thoughts?
1. “No one is doing their job correctly.”
2. “This will never work.”
3. “It should be better organized.”
4. “Why should that dept dictate what I do?”.
5. I" am so mean –I thwart and challenge everyone."
My feelings are frustration, anger, irritation, and being threatened – all at 80 on a scale from 1-100.
The distortions in those thoughts are over-generalizations, fortune telling, and “should” statements.
My rational responses are:
1. If no one was doing their job correctly, the company would not be functioning. It is simply not true. The fact is that people are doing their jobs and working together via meetings is how we resolve some of these problems – or at least discuss them. Additionally, I don’t have control over who does what. Nor do I want control.
2. How do I know this won’t work? It may not, but so what? If it doesn’t, we/I can try something else. It isn’t the end of the world if it doesn’t work.
3. It would be nice if the department were better organized, but it is what it is. It is getting better and I want to helpful, not harmful. The process will not get better the more I criticize it.
4. I do behave in ways I regret sometimes. I can apologize if I need to. I would like to focus on my work and less on what other people are doing, but I can work on that. My disapproval or bad attitude will not improve the department.
There is little benefit to my underlying assumptions or behaviors. It just makes me feel badly in the end and doesn’t do anything to improve my relationship with my coworkers. So, my underlying beliefs or assumptions are not benefiting me.
Okay, I feel that I have more balance now and am giving less credence/credit to my automatic thoughts. I’m not sure my rational responses are quite as effective as they could be, but I will work on them.