Thursday, Jan 27 2005
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I got my period today - it sort of snuck up on me. In fact, I had to leave the gym early. And while I was nearly positive that I wouldn't get pregnant this first month, I must have been hoping to despite that, because I am dispointed. I hope that now that the first month is out of the way, I can just let it be and let nature take over. Its just too long of a period of time between periods - I imagine if you are trying and trying and trying to get pregnant, each month when you get your period, you feel like you've written off a whole 'nother month. Seems harsh, doesn't it, to only get a few chances in 30 days? Actually, its probably not harsh - its probably perfect because for every woman who wants to get pregnant there is a woman who doesn't. Nature's birth control. I do now know that I have a natural 28 day cycle. I thought I did, but couldn't remember clearly because I've been on b/c for so long.
S and I are just missing each other, emotionally and practically, right now. I feel like I'm hurting his feelings with everything I say. I don't mean to, but it comes out that way. And I'm pretty touchy right now, too. I can't wait for him to be working. I know he can't wait either. Maybe its a bit of the winter blahs too. He has a training all day Saturday, and as much I enjoy being with him, it might be nice to have the house to myself all day.
Work (or me at work) has had some highs and lows, but no where near the panic/anxiety/anger of last week.
I am going to try to set up lunch with Colleen and/or Kathy from DCI. I miss working with them. I really do. I'd like to keep them as friends. Friends - a topic I'm skirting emotionally/mentally right now. And will keep on skirting for the being, thank you very much. Sometimes I enjoy being emotionally immature. Its a relief.
GJ: What am I grateful for today? I am grateful for the sunset I saw - melancholy and all. I am grateful that I can appreciate and acknowledge my less than stellar points as well as occaisionally appreciating my finer points.