LYNNABEL's May 2005 CalorieKing Blog

Monday, May 30th 2005

Its 3am and I just lost pages of a journal entry.

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10 minute journal update. Can't believe I lost everything I wrote this morning. It made me think though - was/is anything I write so valuable that losing it is a huge universal loss? No. Doesn't mean it isn't important, to me, but the sky didn't fall and I doubt future generations will be poorer for the loss of that one entry. Additionally, it was a reflection on Saturday's panic attacks and thoughts and we could all probably live w...

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Friday, May 27th 2005

I have tried to start a journal entry several times and just can't. I keep going back to my actual work. This isn't because my work is so terribly interesting, but I think its because work is the only thing getting my energy right now. I only have so much to go around, and work is getting all of it. I don't know that that is right, but it is necessary at this point.

Life at home is wonderful - sweet and gentle and passionate. I asked S last night to please help remind me to drink more water...

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Tuesday, May 17th 2005

I went to the gym again today. I even sweated (is that a word?) a bit. Good for me. A bit over on calories today but not too bad.

Of the things I said I needed to do yesterday, I made a hair appointment. And I just found the Hyundai dealerships in the area and will make an appt tomorrow from work.

I'm wiped. Work is so busy right now. I'm proud of some work I done and some initiatives I've taken, which is a good feeling. I would like it to slow down just a bit, though.

Steve is h...

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Monday, May 16th 2005

I went to the gym after work. I'm very proud of myself. Only 20 minutes on the treadmill and 10 minutes of leg weights, but better than not doing anything. I finally realize (made myself realize) that all I need to do a little bit. I do not need to do tons. And a little bit is better than nothing. That is not how my mind works (I'm very all-or-nothing - I don't really know how to be moderate), so this is a bit step.

Let's try to repeat tomorrow.

1. I need to transfer this journal to m...

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Sunday, May 15th 2005

I feel sick again. Or still. Its not quite the same as the morning sickness-type nausea - its more stomach-upset and not hormonal. But it keeps coming and going. If I get even remotely hungry, it shows up, which is like the morning sickness, but it won't go away when I eat, which isn't like the morning sickness. I can't get enough water either, which is VERY strange for me. I'm not a huge water fan. And, of course, drinking water makes me feel even more queasy.

Its become so clear to me tha...

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