Friday, May 27 2005
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I have tried to start a journal entry several times and just can't. I keep going back to my actual work. This isn't because my work is so terribly interesting, but I think its because work is the only thing getting my energy right now. I only have so much to go around, and work is getting all of it. I don't know that that is right, but it is necessary at this point.
Life at home is wonderful - sweet and gentle and passionate. I asked S last night to please help remind me to drink more water. I said it makes me nauseous but I need to get more in anway. He said very seriously, "Thank you for taking such good care of walnut." I don't know if he could have found anything more meaningful and sweet to stay to me - it touched on my insecurities about being healthy enough for the baby and was very reassuring. We listened to the heart beat earlier in the week and it was so loud! What a good baby.
I talked to M earlier this week at some length - we have lots to talk about now that we're both pregnant. It really is a club that allows for endless conversation. As is often the case, I felt horrible after talking to her - not because of her AT ALL but because she reminds me of the A, A, K situation. I cried and bit and talked to S about it in more depth that I have before. He asked me some and then tried to convince me that the issue is not ME its THEM. He thinks some people just aren't good friends. He said, with emotion, that I was the best person he'd ever met and that he didn't want me to fault myself. Of course, easier said than done, but it was nice to share that situation with him more fully.
My sleeping schedule is a bit off - I'm so sleepy by 9pm and then awake from about 3 to 5. Then I fall asleep again until the alarm goes off. Its frustrating but because I'm sleepy during the day - I'm not - but I wish that I could just wake up earlier so I could work out or get other things done. I'm hesistant to change my schedule around too much because I'm not convivnced that I can stick with any one way of doing things right now. Its so fluctuating.
Off to do some work.