Monday, Nov 14 2005
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
This is hard. Being a stay-at-home mother - wonderful, but hard. I don't know quite how to explain it. I'm not sad, or not exclusively sad, but very raw. I started crying thinking about S being gone for the afternoon. And how much I love Will. I have a panicky period usually in the early evenings. I asked Steph to help me with ideas of what to do - how to handle those times. I don't know what is best. I exercised for 5 minutes on the Elipse today. That was hard. Its been so long since I've done any cardio. And I was going to go to the gym, but then remembered that I am not supposed to lift anything heavier than the baby for 6 weeks. Which is ridiculous in my opinion. That eliminates doing ANYTHING. But, I'll wait at least until next week to lift very light weights at the gym. In the meantime, I'll work on the Elipse here at home. After all, tomorrow will be two weeks since Will was born. Isn't that amazing? It feels like he has never not been part of my life.
I love watching his face - his facial expressions are incredible. His smiles break my heart. We danced a bit today to some classical music, and tried out the Baby Bjorn. That may be the way to go instead of the car seat. Mmmm.
I'm not totally confident I can carry the car seat carrier very far so I'm a bit reluctant to go out. But, today, we're going to Walgreens or Target, so help me.
S is doing floor time today from now until 6pm. It will be strange to have him gone. I hope it goes well. I'm trying not to think too much yet about when I go back to work - I don't know how feasible it will be for S to work and watch Will. I think he will need at least one if not two days of someone else babysitting him. And who that might be is beyond me at this point. One day at a time for now.