Confessions or Some Things I've discovered about motherhood, etc.
1. I can get by washing my hair every 4 days. Gross, but true.
2. I am anchored to another human being like never before. I orbit around him.
3. All "normal" (ie pre-baby) moments feel stolen - not in a bad way, necessarily, but there's no mindless snuggling or sleeping or eating or running errands or anything - all moments include a mindfulness of the baby.
4. If I let it, there is nothing that I don't feel guilty about. I wish, wish, wish this wasn't true. A friend calls it "mommy-guilt."
5. Whether silent or vocal, there is feeling that this should be Very Difficult. That if I'm not a martyr, I'm not doing it right. I hope this isn't true, or I'm not doing it right.
6. I'm still working on sharing my son graciously with my husband, and still working on sharing my husband graciously with my son.
7. I wish so very much I'd been better prepared for the emotional issues around my C-section. And I know I'll be too vocal about it in the hopes that what happened to me might help someone else.
8. I'm so thankful I have some breastmilk to give Will, but I get tired of pumping.
9. Even though my body looks like it was run over by a truck, for some reason I'm not surprised that my husband is still pretty damn interested in it.
Maybe motherhood is sexy?
Affirmations (I can't type that word without thinking of SNL, which trivalizes it):
1. I am a good mother even though I don't feel like I am some of the time.
2. I am a good mother.
3. I am a good mother.
4. I am a good mother.
5. I am a good mother.
I didn't lose any weight this week. I freaked out a bit about it yesterday, and I'm still not happy about it, but I guess I just need to persevere. I suspected that 1/2 of my pregnancy pounds would be hard to loose, and it appears I was right. Still discouraging, though. I took measurements, though, on Saturday, so at least I'll have that in addition to weight to measure progress.
Speaking of, I'm going to sneak in my Elipse workout now while Will is snoozing.