Saturday, Dec 17 2005
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
Sigh. Another checkin without sucess - and actually up a pound. I layed in bed last night and thought, "What is the worse that could happen at checkin tomorrow and how will you deal with it if it does?" And the worst came true, and the way I will deal with it is to drop my calories to 1400. My milk supply is very close to gone - if I get two ounces a day I'll be lucky, so dropping calories isn't going to ruin my supply since its nearly gone anyway.
Obviously my current calorie level (1700-1800) is turning out to be maintenance for me at this weight (152), since I've been hovering between 150-152.5 for many weeks now using this calorie level. Even breatfeeding - which "they" say requires an extra 300 calories a day at least. Obviously not for me. My BMR and RMR have always been pretty low, as best I can tell, so I guess I'm not totally surprised, although very, very discouraged.
One up note is that my waist has gone down 1.5 inches in the last several weeks. No real changes anywhere else, but I'll take it. Because there is so much margin for error in body measurements, I don't really count anything under an inch unless I'm very sure I've measured exactly the same each week.
Dropping 300 calories a day will be rough, but I'll monitor myself and see how it goes. I'm not working out excessively, so I don't think I'll be starving. It'll probably have to be 1400 until I'm in the 140s, then 1300 until I reach 140, and 1200 after that. It really, really sucks sometimes having such a low BMR.
I'm not sure how eating on all my vacations/trips coming up with go. While with my folks, I'm not worried - they eat very healthily (that can't be a word), but when in Arizona, I'll have to watch things closely, and Chicago should be fine since I'm with other likeminded/healthy people.
I had set going back to work (end of January) as a logical timeline for some serious weight loss. I had even dreamed once of all my pregnancy weight being gone by then - but that obviously won't happen. I'd rather not set a goal, though - I don't know how my body will respond and there is little point in being disapointed in something when I will have done done everything I should have.
Will needs a bath and S and I are having a rough time lately so I'd better go.