Thursday, Dec 29 2005
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I don't have much time to write right now - Will needs to wake up before he sleeps too long. I got home today - I spent 5 days in OKC with my family. My sister and grandma flew in, so we were full-up.
A few good things - I got 2 hours of me time every day - besides S, I don't feel comfortable leaving Will with anyone except my mom and sister - and they were great. Will did well on the airplanes and I did well being his only parent for those days. I felt good - secure and confident in my role as his mother. This is wonderful progress.
A few not-so-great things - my grandma assumed that S had left me because he didn't come for Christmas. How awful is that? And how angry I was that I had to explain and defend him. (Angry both at Grandma for making me feel that way, and S for putting me in that position in the first place). I have a solution for all future issues like this, though - and there will be others, I'm sure. I'm dreading bringing up the issue of Joel's graduation in June.
Joel was very hard to be around. I've said many times that my father was the first and most influential feminist I knew but my mother has become the household maid to my dad and Joel. I thought this was awful - a) b/c my mom has a bad shoulder - why she is doing heavy lifting is beyond me, and b) both my parents always said you don't do anyone any favors by raising a son who doesn't know how to cook, clean, or do laundry. So - why?! I brought it up with Mom, gently - and just told her I thought dad and Joel could be helping her out a lot more. She admitted she does a lot for Joel - b/c of his crazy schedule. Which is valid - he has a very hectic schedule. I meant to talk to Dad about it - ask him to make sure Mom doesn't do more than her fair share but I never found the moment. I'll write to him.
And Joel - I love my little brother, but I don't like him very much right now. He is frustratingly judgemental and self-centered - judgemental about people in general and about me in particular. I attempt to remember that he is 18, very "proper" and still has lots to learn and experience. But it wasn't much fun and my heart ached quite a bit over the time I was there. I don't know what to do - if anything, about it.
My parents are hosting an exchange student from Uzbeckistan (sp) - Firuz - and he couldn't have been more helpful with Will. It was so kind of him.
I think I have more processing to do around my time with my family, but I need to run for now.
And I met Jo and Wyatt! More about that later.