Saturday, Feb 18 2006
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
Its 7:43 am and Will is still sleeping. I'm glad for him. Apparently he didn't nap very well yesterday for Steve.
This was a horrible week. Work was very full and stressful. Some good things, but mostly tonage. Friday was Lisa's last day and THANK. GOD. I don't know that I've ever disliked another human being as much as I dislike her. Good riddance to bad rubbish. or luggage. I can't remember how the phrase goes.
Things at home were very stressful. I don't even know where I'd begin to describe that, so I won't.
Wellbutrin is helping in the following ways: I have more energy; I am not experiencing those crying episodes; and when I do feel badly its generally directed outwards instead of inwards. I don't know if the last part is good in the long run, but its good for me in the short run as I need to give myself a break. It does mean, though, that I've had 3 - what? periods? - of rage. Total rage - like throwing objects type of rage. Twice at S, and once in the car at another driver. The things is - I don't act on this rage - I just feel it. I probably need to act on it or it might fester. I don't know.
My mother sent me an very uncharacteristic email that made me feel very guilty for not calling them more - meaning, she tried to and did make me feel guilty for it. WHich upset me for several reasons - I don't have tons of time since I'm gone from the house from 8:30 until 6, and Will starts to get sleepy at 8 so I need to spend my time with him, and my folks aren't that great about calling either. I suppose they think its different since there is a grandchild now. But. I digress. My mother, brother, and exchange student are going to visit in mid March. Which I am looking forward but am not happy that I feel like I need to apologize for this to Steve. I don't know what to do. I really don't. I've tried everything.
I told one of my PP friends that I'm prone to going straight from conflict to panic because I've been married and divorced before. It tends to make one wary and gun shy. But - I am panicked to a certain degree. I'm pretty unhappy. He is pretty unhappy - only he doesn't seem to have the words to tell me about it so we can't do anything about it. I don't want to go too deeply into it right now because its just something that is probably better private, but I can't focus my thoughts long enough to describe the situation accurately, much less figure it out.
No weight loss this week. I've been too busy at work to take the 30 seconds it takes to log. Really, I'm being serious. I don't thing I went over that much, but obviously something didn't work this week.
We're going to Duluth on Sunday for a night since I don't have work on Monday.
Its freezing here. Freezing.