LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog

Wednesday, Apr 30 2008

View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day

Where does the time go?

I knew that having two kids, instead of just one, would affect my daily routine and life and free time and finances and EVERYTHING, but I didnít know exactly how. Its hard. Its okay, but its hard. Everything non-essential their survival just gets scaled back. For example, Iíve been working on my picture book of Ellenís birth and Christmas and our trip to AZ for months now, and I canít seem to make progress. Another example Ė I canít blog regularly because there is no convenient time at home. If I canít blog, I can barely let folks know when Iím reading their blogs and thinking about them. Another example Ė my relationship with Steve. :( The only reason I can still workout is that I do at lunch at work.

When I get frustrated with my lack of time, I try to remind myself that I have no business being anything but grateful since my babies are alive and thriving and healthy, and that I have a co-parent that makes what free time I do have very available for the kids.

In the spirit of trying to be a bit less critical of myself (per Jennieís strict orders), I try to end everyday thinking about what I did well in my interactions with Will and Ellen and Steve. My mind continually tries to focus on the negative, but I am going to keep trying. Because what else can you do?

I swear if there is a gene for the ďglass is half empty, and whatís left is crapĒ I have it in spades.

I think that it will be easier as both Will and Ellen get older. Iím sure different challenges will arise, but Iíd like to think that neither will be throwing a tantrum or fussing if Iím not standing on my head and dancing like a monkey to do their bidding when they are older. If thatís wrong, please donít tell me just yet. Let me dream for another few years.

I think my life will be here when the kids need me less. I hope it will. I suppose you have to work on making sure your marriage is still there when the kids need less, not just assume that it will be. I really, really, really wish I had family in town that could come take the babies for a few hours every so often so Steve and I could figure out if we still know or like each other or have anything left to enjoy together besides the odd episode of ďThe OfficeĒ and early morning marital relations. (You'd think those two things would cover a multitude of sins, but they only really do if you don't disagree about so many other things.) I donít want babysitters since Iíd like FOR ONCE not to have the LEAVE the house to get alone time or alone with Steve time.

Ellen turned over, once! Isnít she brilliant? :) I just want to weep every time I try to get her smile on camera and just miss it. Her dimples are so huge and her eyes are so bright. Steve got us a Bumbo-wanna-be chair and she is doing well sitting in it.

Will said to me the other day, ďOh-ne-ma-gooseness!Ē which I figured out was ďOh my goodness!Ē

He also made me laugh yesterday when he was being wrestled to the ground by Steve, and said, ďNo bigga twubbul! No bigga twubbul!Ē which was his reference to the fact that Steve always says, ďYouíre in Big Trouble, mister!Ē when they wrestle.

I lost weight and inches last weigh-in. That was very welcome since Iíd stalled out for several weeks. Iím at 137.8 lbs, chest 38, waist 31.5, hips 38, and left thigh 21. Can you believe my waist was 26 at one point? I canít. Of course, that was before babies. Eeesh. Every child should have to compensate their birth mother for the effects on her body. It should be a mandatory thing, like contributing to Social Security. Every mother should have an interest-bearing, body-impact bank account, funded by her children.

7.8 lbs to go.

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Comments

8 comments so far.

8.

6 years ago

Marriages, like gardens, need weeding and watering. Men are generally simple creatures but you and Steve will grow apart if you don't grow together.

by JAY

JAY

7.

6 years ago

commute to Orleans where I'm working will be about 45 minutes. a little long, but it's all country highway so hopefully it won't get bad. good time to listen to music, catch up with friends (hands free of course) or maybe download some audio books. with any luck, in 6 mos to a year I'll be working in Louisville which is 25 minutes the other direction on interstate.

by HOOSIERSTACE

HOOSIERSTACE

6.

6 years ago

p.s. -- could we get video of you standing on your head dancing like a monkey? I'll bet you could be a ce-Web-ity on YouTube with THAT one?

by MAYASMOM

MAYASMOM

5.

6 years ago

Lynn..I know you say that you don't want a babysitter to have to find time for you and your husband..but isn't that really the only way to have the quality time -- away from the distractions of the house and the kids who may or may not stay asleep once you put them in bed? My vote is that you start the process of looking for a reliable sitter. What about your church? Are there teens there that like to sit for kids? I am blessed to have family/friends around and at the ready, but I am also looking for a teen sitter that I can use from time to time...less guilt that way! Of course -- I WAS the family babysitter before Maya, so I'm not sure why I would ever feel guilty! Ok..signing off now....hugs and :kiss:

by MAYASMOM

MAYASMOM

4.

6 years ago

p.s. ^ The above should be taken with several grains of salt. Preferably on the rim of a margarita. ^

by REV

REV

3.

6 years ago

I realize I don't have them, and hence no room to speak with any authority on the matter ... which has never ever stopped me from speaking: Clearly your children are you priority, obviously their health and wellbeing, particularly at this moment in time, is wildly and demandingly dependent on you. THAT. SAID.: Not figuring out how to take time for yourself, to continue building a relationship with your spouse, gives them nary an example of self-care, or of what a loving relationship looks like. Modeling for your children that the world revolves around them is likely to turn them into the very adults that make us all batsh!t-crazy by the fact that they can't see the world past the end of their nose, because no one ever made them think otherwise. {sigh} End of completely-without-room-to-say-so lecture. :kiss:

by REV

REV

2.

6 years ago

I worry sometimes about alone time; we do have my parents two hours away and Larry has family in Louisville, but it's not like someone down the road who could watch the kids "for a couple hours". one thing I like about the house we're looking at is that it's actually in a small country neighborhood -- about 15 houses -- and we'll luck out if there's another young family we click with. I'm obviously not there yet, but I do think there's a period where it's just about the kids, and then it can become about you again. that's what I'm starting to prepare myself for and I expect it to be hard; I also expect it to be worth it. :kiss:

by HOOSIERSTACE

HOOSIERSTACE

1.

6 years ago

HA! Loved the last part. I for one totally agree that children should have to pay for the plastic surgery I will need later in life if I ever decide I want the "perfect" body. =D I promise that having 2 kids will get easier. You get more settled in and comfortable, they get less demanding.......at (almost) 3 and 5, my kids are still pretty young and yet they are amazingly more self sufficient than they were just 6 months ago. Which takes a big load off of Eric and I because we don't feel like we are the beginning and end of their little worlds. Like you, we have no one close by who will take the kids for even a few hours, so our options are pretty limited. But my mom made a comment to me when I first had Jacob, about "staying in touch with my husband". In 18 years, (15 now), the kids are going to be gone and the last thing I want to happen is to have Eric and I look at each other and say, "who are you?" We struggle to maintain interests and a relationship that is exclusive of the kids, simply because if we allow the world to revolve around them then we will lose one another. I won't say that we are always good about it, and it's constant work, but I think being honest with Steve and being aware of it will make a huge difference. One thing I have been trying to be good about is staying up with Eric after the kids are in bed. Just having that quiet time together, even if we aren't saying anything, makes me feel closer to him.

by CBL

CBL