Thursday, Feb 19 2009
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I havenít had to vent about work in a very long time, which is a testament to the lack of stress at my job right now. Unfortunately, where there is stress it is of the kind that I respond the least well to. When I am put in charge of an area that it seems to me another entity or person SHOULD be the expert on, I get very nervous. While I appreciate the general casualness of timelines in this industry, it speaks to a bit of unprofessionalism and entrepreneurial personalities (ie detail-phobics) run amok. The devil is in the details, and Iíve yet to meet a professional personality I admire (at any level of an organization) that doesnít attune themselves to details, at least to some degree.
Its strange how much more fun vacations seems a few days out from your return. That first day home you wonder why you ever left. That said, I am worried about Will. I donít have any way to gauge if his discomfort with being in a new environment is completely normal for his age and development, or if it is signaling a personality trait we need to help him manage/change. He had a hard time when we went to OKC as well. I definitely need to learn to manage my frustration with his disinterest in dressing himself. It feels excessive to me, the degree to which he is passive about being dressed. I think I just need to ďforceĒ him to do it himself by not doing it for him, and encourage Steve to do that as well. I think it plays into other areas, like potty training, and other skill acquisition. I know some kids just like having things done FOR them, but there needs to be a limit. Not that Iíd point this out to Will, but Ellen does as well as Will with getting herself dressed. Steveí family kept saying, Well, thatís a girl for you, but is that right? I donít think so. There is no reason a boy shouldnít be expected to dress himself. By 3.5 years old. At least for the mot part. OTOH, a parent needs to pick his/her battles.
My grandmother is in a nursing home, after a rapid deterioration in functioning, without any apparent medically-based cause. She was living basically independently, and then her blood pressure spiked for no reason (its been low her whole life), she became delirious, and had to be admitted. It is likely she wonít ever go ďhomeĒ and will be in the nursing home for good now. I am contemplating going to see her in March, with my folks, to help them pack up and clean Grandmaís apartment, so it can be rented again. I canít seriously contemplate bringing Will or Ellen Ė it would just be too hard on them, and on me. If I thought Grandma would KNOW that either one was there, I might consider it, but she probably wouldnít since her short term memory is gone. Mom thinks sheíll remember/know me, but even thatís a gamble. She hasnít met Ellen yet, and that makes me sad. However, its not like Ellen could crawl around in a nursing home, nor would she let me leave her with anyone (holy Mamaís-girl, E has become!) while I see Grandma. The above makes me think Iím trying to justify something, but in conclusion, I do think its best for me to go alone. Perhaps this summer I can contemplate getting one or both children there. Especially if Grandma shows any signs of improved memory.
Agh. Aging and dying are scary. To me. I know many people who profess not to be scared of death, and even to welcome it as an alternative to other things (long illness, prison, etc.). I canít get past my dread of it.
My mother must feel devastated by this. Iím trying to imagine how I will feel when she is old. She and Dad seem to be planning very well for their later years, so I feel good that we will all have the benefit of their planning to help manage their illness and/or care, if and when it comes to that. But beyond the financial, the emotional toll must be significant on the adult child of an aging parent.
We have accepted an offer on our LaCrosse house Ė which we are SO thankful for. And only 4K under the asking pricing, which isnít bad in the middle of winter in this market in a depressed town.
Apparently one of the investors on the mortgage of the Typo Lake house thinks it is worth about 30K more than we offered for it. This despite the fact that it hasnít had one clean offer other than ours at steadily reduced price for well over 9 months. I donít understand why a bird in the hand isnít worth more than several nonexistent offers in the bush.
(Or something. Courtney Ė you know I try mangle these sayings just for you, right? Hide chapping, etc.)
This is my dullest entry EVER.