Sunday, May 29 2011
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I'm in a re-assessing kind of place about a number of areas of my life.
I need to work harder at my diet macros and perhaps adjust the level. I've gained weight. I believe it is from travel and not being very strict and not being very consistent with logging. All the things that make a person say 'duh'. I consistently need to find motivation and be proactive about it. I was doing well with the higher protein more natural foods and then somehow it just disappeared from my priority list.
I've been in a class all last week and will be most of next week. Its very challenging - its a class at a law school that focuses on health care compliance. It hasn't helped my weight that there is no fridge to bring my lunch. I was incredibly intimidated at first, but have really enjoyed it so far. I had to give a presentation on Friday and it went okay - not perfect but definitely okay. Makes me think about law school. Again.
I think part of the issue around my weight gain has been a sense (probably false) of not having control. Its more that I'm not being as proactive as I could and should be. I need to prepare my lunches for the week and talk daily with Steve about dinner. For example, I had an okay day today until Steve suggested pizza for dinner and I ended up saying okay mostly because I was mad about not having the night to myself like I had planned, so I was feeling sorry for myself. How silly is that chain of events? It doesn't help me to have pizza and its never as great as it sounds! I wish I could remember to slow down and think things through logically. Who was to stop me from cooking a chicken breast? Nothing.
I saw a blog entry today about mindful eating. I need to work on that. I almost always read when I eat which is a horrible habit. I'm not ready to give it up, though - but I could still be more mindful in other ways. Eat more slowly, serve myself smaller portions.
I never think of myself as a binge eater, but I think I do have some compulsive eating tendencies, once in a while. I think it is in part because my calorie allotment never satisfies me for long. So I end up just getting SO SICK of being hungry. I could EASILY and HAPPILY consume 2000 calories a day and not feel full. I realize that some of that is the type of food I'm eating - it isn't nearly as clean as it should be. But still - I feel like there is something in me that wants more food than I can eat without gaining weight.
I'm mad about not having the night to myself. It didn't need to be this way - I COULD'VE had the night and house to myself (oh the luxury) - and I won't write much more about this, but I'm SO frustrated. I would pretty much KILL to have my house to myself once in a while, and the other adult who lives here knows this and still doesn't. meet. me. half. way. Its the most frustrating thing, aside from compulsive frugality, in an otherwise lovely man. I'm mad, mad, mad about it.
Okay, I'm going to stop there. And do my best to make tomorrow better.