LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog

Thursday, Nov 3 2011

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I am feeling overwhelmed.

Iím studying for the LSAT and am very discouraged with my lack of progress. I would like to do well because it would mean that I might be awarded a scholarship, and finding ways to pay for law school is critical for my family. Not doing as well as I had hoped also makes me feel like an idiot. I know the LSAT is considered the hardest standardized test, but still. Still. Still.

Recently a person was hired at my company to be, basically, my counterpart in another division. And she is kicking a$$ and taking names, so I feel very inferior in my work setting, also. She knows more than I do, she has more experience than I do, and she is getting far more done in her 1 month on the job than I am or have in my 9 months.

Willís behavior since starting kindergarden has been so challenging. Its as if someone took my sweet, darling boy and turned him into a completely different person, who is not nearly as fun to be around as he was before. My heart aches for him, because I have to think its part of the adjustment to school, but in the moment, I get so frustrated with him. I feel so inadequate to helping him or to being a good mom.

I am not comfortable yet with the way S and I have been approaching Willís school activities and assignments. I donít trust S to follow through on the smaller things because sometimes he doesn't. And I wrestle with whether or not its really important. I canít do everything, and since I canít do everything, I have to let go without freaking out. And I'm not doing very well at that.

And Iíve been sick with a cough for the past week, and its horrible to wake up several times a night, and know that Iím waking S up, and my eyes are blood shot in the morning. I haven't worked out in almost 2 weeks, which is unheard of for me.

And Ė this is petty- but each year, I dread the winterizing process of getting the boat and dock in, the windows sealed, etc. I donít know why, because S almost always does most of it, but I just dread it. And I have such mixed feelings about the holidays which seem to be this HUGE thing coming down the road at me too quickly. In the midst of the holidays, I need to take the LSAT (12/3) and finish my application to law school, get some projects further in their progress at work without any help. It just feels like TOO much.

Well, that was a litany of ways in which I feel Ďless thaní, and when I feel that way, I feel overwhelmed and full of despair.

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Comments

7 comments so far.

7.

2 years ago

I'm a little behind the times, Lynn! I'm sorry you've been stressed and overwhelmed. You've taken on a lot. I'm sending peaceful thoughts your way.

I also hear what you say about how school changes your baby. It's hard on so many levels. Sending Will some good thoughts too.

Good luck on the LSAT and on these last weeks of studying. :kiss:

by DEBORAHV

DEBORAHV

6.

2 years ago

:kiss:

by PATTIXOXO

PATTIXOXO

5.

2 years ago

Yikes...that IS a lot to deal with. I empathize with much of it. Why is it even as adults we still fall prey to petty competitiveness. I'm sorry that you've not been feeling/sleeping well, I'm sure that has a lot to do with feeling down as well. Maybe getting a workout in WOULD help! Take deep breaths and remember this too shall pass!

by NMA5632

NMA5632

4.

2 years ago

The approach of winter has a lot of meaning beyond just the tasks of winterizing stuff. Less daylight, colder nights, and of course where you are...snow. I'm a winter guy but the change of seasons even bothers me. I'd be happier if it were sunnier around here in winter.

And having a cold most certainly colors your outlook and confidence in coping with all that you've got ahead of you. Soooo...take a deep breath (without coughing) and softly tell yourself that you can do it. And you will! :kiss:

by JAY

JAY

3.

2 years ago

That's alot on your plate. One thing at a time. Good luck with the LSAT's!!

by WORKINGHARD2LOSE

WORKINGHARD2LOSE

2.

2 years ago

Hope you feel better soon. It's tough when it feels like everything is piling on at once. :(

by PIRATENINJA85

PIRATENINJA85

1.

2 years ago

Winterizing the boat can be a hassle for sure. In fact I just finished cleaning everything last night so we can put the cover on. My husband did the engines last weekend. The holidays are a mixed bag for me. I love to decorate and put up a tree but we leave our house to go to my parents (2 hours away) for Christmas and then drive straight to FL for two weeks from there.

Hope you feel better soon

by DONZI

DONZI