Ellie and I had a wonderful, Christmas-y weekend - I took her to her first ever Nutcracker ballet. I hope this is the start of an annual tradition. She was a little wigged out by the mouse king (she called him a 'dirty mouse' ) but otherwise loved the ballerinas and dresses, and being up late with Mommy. We both got dressed up, and Will and Steve (is there a word for one degree short of 'shut-in' ? - if so, they are whatever that state of being is called. And happy about it, I have to say. Thank God I have Ellen) sent us off.
Ellie also had her very first dance recital today, and did wonderfully. Her teacher told me that Ellie reminds her of her daughter in that she is just utterly bewildered when people don't obey the rules. The teacher said Ellie just looks the other girls up and down in amazement if they aren't in their spots doing whatever it is they are suppoesd to be doing. God bless her. This trait will be cute until its not any more.
Lately, she has been crying whenever I correct/reprimand her, and she'll say, "I"m bad! I made trouble!" and sob. It makes me sick when she says that because I feel so awful for saying anything what would lead her to that conclusion. I SWEAR to GOD I do not come anywhere NEAR verbal abuse, so I think she is just SUPER sensetive. We talk about how poeple aren't bad - behaviors may be bad, but people aren't bad. Poor darling girl. I'm so thankful that most of the time she is so incredibly self confident.
Will is sick, again. I am so sick of him being sick. Maybe if he didn't lick his fingers constantly or touch everything he possibly can, we might have a chance of keeping him healthy. When he's sick, I swing between utter frustration/irritation with him and totally sympathy and heartache. He doesn't stand a chance of managing his own emotions since I am clearly no role model at it. Actually, in all seriousness, I feel guilty - that I didn't get him enough breast milk and that's why his immunity isn't very good.
I took the LSAT in early December, and I think it went well. My practice scores when up steadily towards the end, so I am hoping I made my secret goal score. My applications will be sent in just as soon as the score comes (early January).
I have been having a wonderful time at work - feeling confident and validated, and just generally solid. I gave a presentation to the audit committee of the board of directors, and it was like I'd been doing it my whole life. I have NO idea where that performance came from, but thank you jesus. Because I think my request for addl staff depended on it. I have to say I'm a SUPER employee when I have enough people to delegate the work my ideas entail to.
Its a good thing my staff like me. I even said to them the other day, "Okay. We are here to talk about what you can do for me," and we all laughed and then we did talk about what they could do for me. Sometimes even just being a semi-decent manager makes you a rock star when people have had so many crappy managers to compare you to.
I had Will's parent/teacher conference the other night, and guess what?!? He's the best reader in the class, and is the most willing to speak Spanish! I was really surprised. I know I'm too hard on him, and Steve knows he's too hard on Will, so we must be doing something right, huh?!
I'm so proud of Will. And, did you know, when kids are 5 and 6, they can go through a period where they just reverse letters and numbers (ie write them backwards). Steve and I were doing a bit of mild freaking out and generally overreacting, because Will has been writing numbers correctly for 3 years now, and then suddenly they're backwards. Its so nice when these things turn out to be normal.
Ellen said the other day, "Will is my very best friend." And I think they will be good friends for a long time. At least I hope you. I can't give Ellie a sister, but if I could wish any else for her, it would to have a brother like Will.