LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog

Monday, Apr 2 2012

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Saturday night I had anxiety dreams, and last night I woke up at 1am and just had depressing thoughts until 3am. I wonder what is doing on.

My anxiety dreams almost always are about whatever it is that I"m anxious about, or whatever would be the 'worst' thing that could happen. I'm a born pessimist if there ever was one. I dreamed (isn't it 'dreamt'? Why is that giving me an error?) that Steve and I were fighting. I dreamed that I did horrible in law school. I dreamed something awful about Will and Ellen.

The depressing thoughts last night were just pointless imagine-ings about how much I'd rather have the type of community and local social life that I imagine a particular one of my friends has. I really am bummed about this. I don't feel like I have a community for my children or me. No neighborhood young families, church is too far away to do anything except on Sunday, and since S has really NO interest in this type of thing, nothing much has come of the kids in their schools. It means that if something is to be created, I have to create it. And that just makes me feel sorry for myself. But I think its important.

I'm also just in a weird place with my feelings about S. I'm feeling pretty resentful about some things. And he is just in a funk of several weeks' duration. I told him the other day that I felt like we were ships passing the in the night. We don't DO much together aside from watching some TV. Weekends are getting better with family outings, so I am glad for that. I'm feeling un-connected to him.

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5 comments so far.


6 years ago

I feel exactly the same way. Now that the kids are here, Kurt and I have had zero time for ourselves. I am fine with our lives being about the boys but it seems like even when they're gone, we still don't connect. We did have date night this past weekend and that was nice. :love: And I'm the same way with feeling lonely for girlfriends. It's so much harder to make friends when you get older, isn't it? Can we still go knock on someone's door and say "You wanna play?" =D I'm sorry you had to have those bad feelings when you should be getting rest. :kiss:

by AMYC18



6 years ago

I hate the middle of the night angst. Hope you get some better sleep soon! And that you feel cheered up soon, too.:kiss:




6 years ago

why can't we live in the same city? we're living parallel lives and sometimes I just crave a local girlfriend who understands this life.




6 years ago

I don't have anxiety dreams. If I'm anxious I just don't sleep. I did dream a lot last night but they were very disjointed dreams. I guess it was a coming attractions reel in the IMAX of my mind.

Hope that settles down for you soon. Sleep is the most important thing do four health & well being. So says the man who doesn't get enough. Do as I say...

by JAY



6 years ago

"Dreamt" isn't incorrect, but most dictionaries would have it as an alternative version to the preferred "dreamed." It's more common in the UK, like "leapt."

I'm sorry about the bad dreams and depressing thoughts. I hope you can come up with a plan to help make you feel more part of a community. Maybe you just need to get away for some girlfriend time. :wink3: