LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog

Wednesday, Aug 1 2012

View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day

This won't make much sense, since I don't have time right now to explain it. I will try later.

I have to remember to slow down and visualize the orange rind all around me - protective and containing, yet not entirely rigid. It can blunt anything trying to come in, and anything trying to get out.

I recognize that I'm back in the very insecure frame of mind which is direct result of my work situation. As scary as that is to me - and it is SO F*CKING scary to me because all I can think of is my last job - it is not my last job. I need to slow down, hunker down, try to keep my anxiety and frustration and fear from spreading too far or inappropriately. I'm not proud of some of the b*tching I've done and to whom. I don't know if my new boss is a bad person (as far as it concerns me) or not. I really don't (I know others that say she has been less than admirable to/with other women which if true is very scary because that's a mindset that nearly killed me in my last job), but I do know that I can't be my unguarded self around her. Which sucks. But isn't all that uncommon. And doesn't need to spell doom. If I can just hunker down, get through as much law school as I can until either a) I can't take my direct reporting relationship anymore and need to look elsewhere or b) she moves on of her own volition. Just don't, don't, don't eff it up before then, Lynn. Hold on, hold out. Slow down. Orange rind. She isn't likely to share the limelight or corporate exposure, which is a bummer, but a) is her prerogative and b) isn't necessary personally against me. I can use that quiet time to let my self-confidence grow.

By the way - I miss you all and wish that life was less crazy. I read blogs and think about you and your lives/loves.

I start law school on Saturday.

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Comments

3 comments so far.

3.

2 years ago

I love oranges! Just saying.

I've read somewhere or other than women tend to be more community oriented in business and men more "kill it and grill it." Dunno. What I have learned is that my boss is never my friend. That doesn't mean that s/he is out to get me but that there needs to be some distance in the relationship and that means being guarded about what I say and to whom. At first I thought that that really sucked because I like openness and honesty but in business there are just far too many agendas, fiefdoms and what not for that to really work well. I'm still honest but far less open about anything I consider "private".

by JAY

JAY

2.

2 years ago

Be the orange, Lynnie! Wish I could give you an big hug right now. I'll be thinking of you on Saturday as you start your next adventure! Take care and be kind to yourself. :kiss:

by DEBORAHV

DEBORAHV

1.

2 years ago

Well that answers THAT question. Read first, ask later, Jennie. :laugh5: I love the orange rind visualization. I think it can work extremely well for you, kid. :kiss:

by SCALEHO

SCALEHO