Monday, Apr 22 2013
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
I can't sleep. Its 2:30 am.
Two more weeks until the end of the semester. I keep having to reassure myself that I can get done what I need to get done during that time in order to be semi-prepared for exams. Its sort of a constant medium grade anxiety that I'm having to constantly manage. There is no question that I am exhausted. I'm physically tired and yet wired. My shoulders ache, and yet I can't sleep. I'm emotionally tired. While this semester hasn't been nearly the mental torture that the last one felt like, I am so very ready to not being doing this for a while. This weekend was the first weekend that Ellie had a pretty good sized break down and freak out about me going to school. So, I know its been a long semester for her, too.
I don't want to sound like I haven't really enjoyed the first year of law school in some regards, because I have. I have been intellectually stimulated and humbled. I think I can see how this will pay off in my professional life, although that's a bit cloudy due to my current reporting structure.
I'm looking forward to the 'extra' time I'll have this summer to do random things, like clean out the family computer. It will be so nice to be with the kids more. Steve has been a rock star, pure and simple.
I'm sure that I'm also feeling somewhat exhausted about work, too. There is also a similar, consistent/constant low-grade anxiety there. I have been proud of how I have been able to keep it from creeping into my soul (as grandiose as that sounds), but it is still tiring. I'm looking forward to seeing what my school's career services center can do for me.
Physically, I'm a wreck. I can't wait to work out more, and reorganize my eating again. I think I have had a bunch of yeast infections and I need to get to the dentist.
The weather here hasn't helped at all. I don't think I've ever lived through a longer winter here in MN. Its almost May and there is still a good foot of snow in our yard. While the bad weather has meant being in school on the weekends isn't as depressing as it might normally be, I can tell it has affected me in other ways. For example, this is the time of year where I can usually bike in the mornings because it is light enough, but there is no way I can bike through the slushy, snowy mud (I'm on a dirt road).
Okay, so this was a venting/dumping kind of entry. I do have other kinds, I promise. I'm looking forward to being more active here this summer and making sure to connect with my peeps.