Thursday, Mar 22 2012
View SAXONHARP's food & exercise for this day
Whew work is crazy busy. I am supposed to be off today but I am working until Noon and then spending some time with my daughters, it is their spring break. Tomorrow I am taking them to see the Hunger Games. My teenager is Hunger Games crazy so I cannot go into the office tomorrow, I promised her.
I had an interesting experience. On Tuesday I had my 1 hour personal meeting with the nutritionist. I am really happy with how things are going with her but I am still having problems with confidence and believing I can do things even though I am accomplishing a lot, especially fitness wise.
I thought bringing in some pictures to show her what I looked like as a child, teenager, college student and when I was 316 pounds as an adult would give her some perspective about me. I also brought in pictures of my family. In these pictures you will see 3 very attractive trim and fit brothers and 2 parents who are also very trim and fit. It was not easy growing up in this family and being the only one who was obese. I was always cubby even when I was very young. Also having a mother who I now know had/has OCD, Post traumatic stress (she grew up in Germany during the war), now unfortunately has Alzheimers, and there are other issues too.
Just getting the pictures out to prepare for the meeting,I just started crying. During the entire session we walked though how each person impacted me and yes it was a cry fest. Growing up I just never thought I could do what my brother and parent accomplished. I just sat back and watched thinking I cannot do that. At 41, I still feel like that young girl. She gave me some strategies to knock those negative feelings out. She wants me to post pictures of myself and/or my family that represent how strong I am and hang them up at work and home so when I feel like I need to turn to food I can look at those pictures an can remind myself I am strong and that I have the power over food. I will try that. She said also when I have doubtful feelings I just need to replace them with I am strong I can do this I have power. She says it sounds corny but it is helpful to get the negative clutter out of your head. I will try this as well.
She totally gets that this is a mental issue, it was so helpful. I thinking getting that all out has really helped because I have been able to have more control with food these past copule of day....even with all the crazy stress at work right now.
Well. Now that I took some time for me I need to plow through some work so I can get home to my daughters.
Finally got those St. Pats apple martinis and baileys cupcakes off. The scale was back to 219.75!