Thursday, Jun 20 2013
View SAXONHARP's food & exercise for this day
Thank to you everyone for your nice comments on my last blog. It means so much to me.
Jason and I did our counseling appointment. It was a tough one. I don't have the energy or emotion to type everything out. Bottom line is we are at a critical stage. Jason does realize his poor job history has created a very stressful life for me and has made me a single parent. He needs to see a counselor himself. Basically we have a marriage counselor and then we have a counselor of each of us. You have to work on 3 people in a marriage...in this case it is Lisa, Jason and then Lisa and Jason. The marriage counselor can only work with Lisa and Jason....makes sense. I have my appointment scheduled on July 1st and I cannot wait.
Basically our communication stinks. I have put up many walls over the years. We have had so many discussions and fights that just go into circles. Jason does have a temper issue while communicating. My daughters also have a hard time communicating. He knows it is a problem but did not realize that he was "scary." At least the counselor told him he could not be scary.
Right now it is very scary, it is going to take a long time to repair our relationship. I am willing to put in the work but it is hard when you cannot trust your husband to do what he needs to do as a father. He is humbled right now. I know I am not perfect but Jason has never told me specifically what I can do to help the relationship. It is always that he does not feel loved by me. That is pretty hard to hear because I have supported and encouraged him through all the job losses. The counselor did tell Jason that he does have to be more specific with me on what he needs. Well it took 19 years of marriage to get to where we are, so it is going to take some time.
Thanks again for all your support!!!!