WILLLOSEIT's CalorieKing blog

Wednesday, Jul 25 2007 - image, body

View WILLLOSEIT's food & exercise for this day

yesterday, there were several blogs and posts about body image; about how pictures and mirrors don’t reflect what we expect to see as quickly as we want to see it. after all the work we are doing, we want to see hard evidence of the progress in our reflections and we don’t, at least not yet. well this got me thinking about expectations and managing them. now, i am very proud of everything i am doing and all my hard work to get healthy and thinner. but that doesn’t mean i am going to see the body of my dreams in the mirror tomorrow. i gained weight steadily for most of my life. it took me a long time to get where i am today (weight-wise). but my miracle was at birth and i don’t expect another one now. i have to accept that; live with that; and be happy with my reflection along the way – no matter what size it is. accepting that i am changing on the inside and that the external changes will come slowly is the best and most positive message i can give to myself and share with you. so this is a positive blog even though it may sound negative. i hope you feel that way too.

i am still fat
i have a long way to go
and i can’t pretend otherwise
it is not my body image
that is screwed up
it is my body
i need to lose 100 more pounds
at least
so when i look in the mirror
i see an obese women
and there isn’t any denying it
it is, what it is

but i am ok
with what i see now
because i know
i am doing
what i need to do
to be able to look
in the mirror someday
and not be fat
because i really
won’t be fat any more

saying this
does not mean
i am not proud
of my accomplishments,
of the weight
i have lost so far
saying this does not
mean i will throw in the towel
and give up my quest
to be healthy again
and understanding this
doesn’t make me feel
less motivated
to keep on going
because the destination
seems so far away

saying this means
i am not in denial
i recognize my size
and how unhealthy i have become
saying this means
i am glad i am working on losing weight
and not still feeling sorry for myself
and the mess i have made of my body
saying this means that i am ok
with how i look
because i am a work in progress
and all good things take time
and as much time as i need to get there
i will get there

when i look in the mirror
i do see a size 22
i do see clothes
that sometimes don’t fit right
i do see heavy arms
and a large butt
and lumps and bumps
in every nook and cranny
how could i see anything else?
because that is what it is

but i also see a great smile
and beautiful eyes
and thick wonderful hair
that everyone loves
and i see a woman
working hard
to make changes in herself
changes that i will see
in that mirror
or in those photos
little by little
not all at once
that miracle
is not going to happen

so for now,
the reflection
is a truth
i have to live with
and make it a positive
in my life
not an excuse
to stop trying.
or a reason
to start feeling badly
about myself again

and every once in awhile
when someone notices
a few more pounds gone
that feels nice
but it doesn’t change
my reality
and i won’t let
the compliment go to my head
or steer me off course
because that would be the worse
thing i could do to myself
rest on my laurels,
when i have so much more to do

so for now
i will smile for the camera
and strut in front of a mirror
anytime and any day
happy with who i am
satisfied with my progress
but i won’t be fooled
to think i look great
i know the truth
in what i see
but i won’t be foolish
to believe that’s all
there is to me
because that’s the truth
that matters most
yes, it surely does

i look in the mirror
and i see beauty
dancing in my eyes
and i am at peace.

about the photo: i love breakfast and i have basically the same thing every day. i mix egg whites with a blend of spinach, onions and peppers (that i pre-cook a couple of times a week). then i add 1 ounce of a light cheese. my sides are 9.9 ounces of watermelon and a slice of light rye bread (or any light bread) with 25 sprays of i can't believe it's not butter spray. i usually use 3/4 of a cup of the egg whites, so this breakfast comes in at 375 calories and 6.8 grams of fat (mostly from the cheese, so when i add less cheese or use a fat-free cheese then the fat grams are even better). this breakfast mound may not photograph very well, but we all know how deceiving photos can be. it's what's inside (and in this case the taste) that counts...:)

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11 comments so far.


a decade ago

Wonderful poem. And yes, you do have a great smile.




a decade ago

Well said! :)




a decade ago

Grace, beautifully written. We have to see the beauty in ourselves in order to be able to make it. And, I understand exactly what you're saying about resting on your laurels. I am so afraid of that myself as I make progress because I've done that and regained. I've looked at myself in the mirror and seen objectively what needs to go, and also, who and what I am. Your breakfast sounds great. I'll have to try it. I usually end up having the same thing every day, too - mine is eggbeaters, plain with eggbeaters 3 cheese - 1 cup total, thomas english light, and I can't believe it's not butter.

by BUN201



a decade ago

I like your new profile photo, Grace! The difference between your "before" picture and the new profile picture reflects all of your hard work. :) Great idea about the veggies and egg whites - I'm going to give it a shot!

by EMILY98683



a decade ago

Hi Grace,

That looks yummy! I'll have to try that myself.



a decade ago

:hi: I don't think I've ever like what I see in the mirror. But I am beginning to understand that I have to love myself before things will really change for me. I have a long way to go on that journey as well as this one, but each day brings me a little closer to both. :) Your breakfast sounds really good, it looks good too. Hope you have a great day. :)




a decade ago

The mirror only shows you what is on the outside and not on the inside.




a decade ago

Your breakfast looks yummy. Good blog today Grace as always :)




a decade ago

Love your poem & comments today. Great photo of breakfast. It looks yummy! Have a great day. Sue




a decade ago

You have this life style change down pat.
Good , true thoughts.
Being thankful for being here...a plus;)
Being happy with the new you;)
A slow metamorphosis while enjoying the process;)
You are falling in love with yourself again;)



by RSW



a decade ago

:wave1: I do not like what I see in the mirror either..I see an old lady with very saggy skin....and other body parts..However I am beginning to like what I see in the mirror with my clothes on...I hope you are having a good day...and your breakfast looks very good...:)