Tuesday, Aug 28 2007 - changes are good, but not always easy
View WILLLOSEIT's food & exercise for this day
today is a dad day. i am bringing my dad to the casino for some much needed downtime. it's his only outlet for the stress he feels from being cooped up in the house with my mom every day. his eyes are getting worse and i feel like he is aging rapidly. granted he will be 86 and has lead a full and active life. but when i see him hunched over and walking on his now wobbly legs it makes me sad. i just hope these bi-weekly trips to the casino do him some good. he loves going and is so thrilled when i tell him i am "taking him to the doctor." (our code for going to the casino.) i just hope my mom stays quietly at home and doesn't give the homecare worker a hard time. the last time we did this she was ok, but you never know with the dementia.
i have been struggling to stay on point the past few days. being busy and not having time to work out is a good excuse, but it doesn't make me feel better about making bad choices. i am back to a pattern of doing everything for everyone else except me. now i am not going hog-wild, but i am certainly not helping my cause to lose 6.5 more pounds for my niece's wedding on October 5th. It's not too much and it's not extraordinary pressure. but i feel like i am not going to make it. focus grace, focus.
this time of year always makes me think about changes. i think of the first of september as a new beginning. like a new year's eve, only there isn't a party. but there certainly is a resolve to do what i need to do to continue on my journey. i have to think about what i am going to do to rejuvenate myself, because i can't continue with little cheats every single day. it is so counter productive and can definitely make you feel like all your efforts are futile. somehow
i must keep those feelings in check and remain motivated. i am having difficulty with that today. tomorrow will be a better day. a change is certainly in the air.
a ralph upday: both of his eyes turned black and blue. we expected that, but it does look worse than the pain he is actually feeling. we both know how lucky he is.
perhaps this will inspire me. it is another photo from my past. i was on my way to a wedding in 1981. i knew i looked nice, but of course i thought i was the "f" word. what a dope. i have to keep looking at these photos to remind myself that it is possible for me to weigh less. i did then, and i will again. i must.