WILLLOSEIT's CalorieKing blog

Wednesday, May 13 2009 - holding my own

View WILLLOSEIT's food & exercise for this day

let me preface today's blog with the following statement:

this is not a complaint. i love my dad and loved my mom. i do (and did) what i have to do willing and with love. but a vent every now and then is healthy and good for the soul. so today, i vent.

you haven't lived until you have changed your mom's diaper or cleaned your dad's dentures. in a strange way it is one of life's treasures to feed your parent, help them out of bed, clean them up and get them dressed. but today i am tired. my dad hasn't felt well since sunday and in the most annoying timing is everything factor, his caretaker had to report to jury duty today, so he is in my care since last night. she called this morning and has to stay at least for the day. she is reporting in brooklyn and has to be there by 8:30 AM. she doesn't drive and well, it is just easier for her to get there from her home (in brooklyn) rather than commute by train from my dad's house on long island. i don't want to make her come back here every night because i would still have to be here every day anyway. she has been so good with my dad so I am just giving her a break and taking one for the team.

the funny thing is i am the only one in my family who ever takes one for the team. i don't even ask my sister or brother for help anymore because a) they have so much more to do every day than me (partly true, but a cop out nonetheless) and b) i just don't want to hear for the millionth time how busy they are and how much they would have to juggle to help. so, i just do it myself.

i am fighting an aching back and hamstring (sciatic issues still rearing their ugly heads), i am sleeping on a couch that my back is just not taking a liking to and i am trying like hell to stay on point with watching what i eat. i even came prepared, armed with foods i like and should be eating. thankfully, i have managed to do really well--so far. i will have to go out for reinforcements though because i need to stay at least another day and didn't bring enough supplies. the normal food choices in this house don't bode well for my weight loss efforts. of course staying another night also means that i had to cancel my hair color appointment (can you say your roots are showing?) and a chiropractic appointment that i desperately need. but there is nothing i can do except write about my frustrations here. can i tell you how much it helps? a lot; trust me a lot.

on a separate point, my sister's youngest is a handful. she is a difficult young woman with a lot of emotional issues and repeatedly acts out. she is failing most of her classes, has a boyfriend (a boyfriend at 12???) and last week received detention for cursing at (and i mean cursing!) one of her teachers. i personally think my sister and brother-in-law are part of the problem, but i can't say anything. we just don't have that kind of relationship. but i am so worried about J. she has way too much freedom and not enough discipline. they are in family counseling for years and J is taking an ever-changing cocktail of medications for mood enhancement, anti-depression and ADD. supposedly they think they have the right mix of medication now. for me, the jury is still out. my niece is manipulative and knows how to work the system and push the buttons. at least my sister finally took away her computer access last week, but that is just the tip of the iceberg.

to make matters worse her oldest (my niece S) decided she was going to come to J's rescue after my nephew's wife and i criticized a photo she had on her facebook page. S told me she had to protect her sister. i was appalled and angered by that. first, how could she think her sister needed protection from me or my nephew's wife and second how disrespectful of her to speak to me that way. I told her that her protection was just enabling J to continue with her bad behavior -- behavior that she herself is troubled by. she even called me a few weeks ago to complain about J and her latest inappropriate rant. the whole thing is a mess. i will continue to call J out on behavior i don't like, but that is all i can do.

ok time to shower and see if i can get my dad washed up. sigh, i am not looking forward to it. he is sleeping (again). that's all he has been doing since sunday (other than an occasional meal (or protein shake) to keep his strength up. his fever broke last night so i think we turned a corner of whatever it is he had. we have a doctor appointment tomorrow because he needs to get checked out anyway. hopefully he is on the road to recovery...if not, i'm going to need a wheelchair soon!!! everyone take care, be good and stay happy..:love::love::love::love::love:

This is a photo of my parents, circa 1947....

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6 comments so far.


8 years ago

I didn't realize you were back around Grace....so sorry to hear of your mom's death. Sounds like your plate continues to be so full. Glad you are here....hugs to you!




8 years ago

How are you doing? Hope you are well.




8 years ago

You have a lot on your plate right now Grace. Try to take a moment to breathe and find a bit of quiet if you can. You should be proud of how well you are doing in light of all the troubles around you. Hand in there girl!:wave1::heart1:




8 years ago

Oh, Grace - so sorry. You are a wonderful daughter/sister/aunt. We don't always get recognized. :love: :kiss: (((((hugs))))))

by BUN201



8 years ago

:hi: Boy, can I sympathize with you for what you are going through, been there done that. So, rant away it sure does help. Go going on staying on track or at least trying to while you are dealing with all of this. I sure hope you Dad starts to feel better soon. Don't forget to take care of you in this trying time. :love:




8 years ago

Dear Grace, you need to ask for help or you will end up in the hospital yourself! It's the care givers that never take enough care of themselves. It wasn't until my aunt collapsed from the stress of taking care of my uncle that she realized she had to put him in a nursing home for Alzheimer's. I hope your dad is better soon and you can go home to your loving husband. You are in my thoughts & prayers. Sue