Sunday, Feb 12 2012 - The Greatest Love
View WILLLOSEIT's food & exercise for this day
Like many people, I have been thinking about Whitney Houston today. While her fall from grace started a long time ago, I still feel saddened by the lose of such a wonderful voice. Gone is the possibilty of a comeback and renewed success. She tried a few years ago, but her voice wasn't what it used to be. I listened in horror as she struggled to hit the notes that once came so easily. Her poison was drug and alcohol and in the end it did take away her dignity. How did she get to such a place of lost reason and despair?
Thinking about her recent years of decline, I can't help but make a comparison to my own weight gain struggles. My poison is food. I turn to it when I am sad. I turn to it when I am happy. I think about my next meal often just as I am finishing the one before. When I need a fix, I turn to the nearest cupboard or pizza place and eat whatever I feel like it. I make excuses for my indulgences, blaming everything and everyone except myself. I realize that these are the habits of an addict. These are the behaviors that contribute to a downward struggle. Pick your poison. It is all the same.
I am in recovery now. And the only way I got here was because I wanted to get here; not because someone told me I needed to do this; not because a doctor talked about diabetes and heart issues, but because I was ready to do this. One day I began hating what I felt like so I made a few better choices. Then I hated what I looked like and make a few more healthy choices. And slowly over several weeks I found my heart and head finally coming into sync. I wanted to be better to myself. I wanted to feel better about everything. And the only way I was able to start on the right track was to take those few baby steps. And the only way I could take those few baby steps was because I finally REALLY wanted to. You see, any diet, regimen, lifestyle works, but only if you are ready to let it work for you. If you aren't, if your head isn't in the "right" place you are just wasting your time and money. I have been with CK for 5 years, so I know this to be true.
So I am in the "right" place now and I am giving it my best shot. I found the greatest love inside of me. I think it was there all along. and now I am at peace with my journey.
I am sorry Whitney couldn't find that peace in this world. Perhaps she will now.