Wow, it has been one year since my last blog entry. Time flies when you are not losing weight and putting off decisions that should have been made years ago.
After much soul-searching and numerous efforts to lose all the weight I need to lose, I have decided to have gastric sleeve surgery. Apparently, I am very good at losing 30 pounds or so, but not very good at keeping it off or going the distance and losing more weight. I could set short-term goals, but never long-term. As much as I thought I was committed to making permanent lifestyle changes, they were never permanent. Whether it was boredom or my frustration at losing weight so slowly and stagnating for a month at one weight, something always pushed me over the edge and back to bad/old habits.. Before I knew it, I stopped tracking or eating healthy. And the weight gain began again. After doing this dozens of times over my lifetime, I knew something had to change. I mean, don't they say that the definition of stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results? If you believe that (which I do) I was being a complete idiot and in denial about my ability to succeed by diet and exercise alone.
The tipping point was the day I realized I couldn't even see myself as a thinner person anymore. I was always able to visualize what I might look like when I lost all my weight. I could "fantasize" about next
Summer in a smaller bathing suit or family not recognizing me at the next
wedding. I would dream of these days and "see" myself in the future. And then one day a few months ago, I closed my eyes and that thinner person was gone. As hard as I tried to see her, she was gone. It had been so long since I weighed something close to normal (about 25 years), I completely lost sight of the person I wanted to look like. I felt defeated. I WAS
So I started researching about bariatric surgery. I went to several seminars, spoke to my primary care doctor and reached out to people I knew who had the surgery. Based on the information I collected, I decided that the gastric sleeve was the right choice for me. Although it is a relatively new procedure in this country, the success rate is very encouraging. It also has a quick effect on diabetes, something that is near and and not so dear to my heart. I found a wonderful practice dedicated to bariatric surgery. The staff is thorough and encouraging. The preparation is involved, but they hold your hand through each step. Their philosophy is get ready now. Make changes to your diet, vitamin and workout regimen now and
lose at least 5% of your weight before surgery. So far, every person I have met, I feel comfortable with and like. I see a light at the tunnel again. I see a thinner and healthier me. Again.
My surgery is scheduled for September 9th. I am anxious, nervous and excited. Most of all I am happy.
I feel I made the right decision for me. I know it won't be easy. I have no dellusions about the difficult road ahead of me. I know I must be committed to drastic changes in my diet. I know there won't be any turning back. But I have accepted all this. Actually, I welcome it!!
I will be posting on my progress from time to time, if I can help anyone along their journey that is great. I am not going to become a naysayer about diet and exercise alone. But I will become an advocate for making the choices that are right for you. This is the right decision for me.
Thanks for reading.