Hello :)

ITAZURAH - 10:20AM PDT, May 19th 2012

itazurah
Virginia

Hello, I thought I'd peek my head into this forum since I've got over 100lbs to lose.

I've been losing or gaining weight since I was a teen. Each time I've lost weight, I've gained it back, and then some more weight on top of that, my biggest fear is losing weight and putting it back on again and getting even bigger when life gets stressful. Right now I'm at 242 and my weight had stagnated for a few weeks since I've reduced my exercise and stopped being so careful about my eating after my trip to Australia. I'm getting back on track now with food, and the exercise is starting to happen again but I'm sort of fighting that overwhelmed feeling that I've got such a long way to go. At the rate I'm losing this is going to take me years of concerted effort to lose the weight and of course the rest of my life to maintain. How do you stay focused when the goal is such a long way off, and how do you deal with the fear of not being able to maintain a healthy weight when you get there? :)

This week I have focused on reaching but not exceeding my calorie target and I'm very proud of the great decisions I have made this week to achieve that goal. I said "NO" to several offers of cookies at work (one of my trigger foods) and I ate a small hamburger and 1/4 a serve of fries last night when I wanted a double bacon cheeseburger and 1/2 serve of fries and dessert, and thus stayed within my target calories for the day.

CKSW:257
CW:242.1
IGW:225
GW:150


TMOORE1 - 5:09PM PDT, May 20th 2012

tmoore1

Welcome Jess! Glad to see you here.

Great decisions. Be proud of yourself. Success is built by those kind of decisions.

The "goal" of losing xxx pounds may be a long way off, but there are benefits that you'll feel as you go along. Check out the thread "things that a better" here on the 100+ group for a few examples.

Toni

"You are what you repeatedly do."
HW390 CW238 GW180


DEEANN - 5:11AM PDT, May 21st 2012

deeann
Illinois

Hi Jess, and welcome aboard. I struggle with the same things you've mentioned. We can and WILL do this. Sometimes I have to remind myself that slow is better; the slower it comes off, the slower it returns,... which hopefully should give us time to stop the gain before it gets TOO bad.



Dee

HW 320 :bang:
SW 298 Joined 4/8/05
Lowest 163.3 (10/7/06) :rock1:
GW 161

May start = 259.7 :rolling1:

Current Pic=Vicki(LUCKDUCK2) & me during a visit summer 2006.


DGARDNER61 - 1:14PM PDT, May 21st 2012

dgardner61
Katy, TX

Hi Jess - glad to see you out here! Would love to see this group get more active - because it is a different problem having to deal with losing a massive amount of weight. When you have a mountain to climb you'll never try if you focus on the large task at hand - just take a few steps - just start - focus on losing 10 lbs.... then they add up over time - and you are making progress. My weight loss has stalled the last few months - but I haven't GAINED it back - and when you have a lot to lose - you can't ignore the triumphs of maintaining your existing weight loss- it's like telling yourself "this is my new high" - I'm not going back to 392 - even if I just sit here at 325 - I'm not going back to 392...

CK is a great place to work at finding the healthiest version of you - don't worry about how long it take- we are a country obcessed with instant gratification - which got me here in the first place!:bang:
Take it easy! :wave1:

Debra

HW 392
CKSW 377
CW 326


SYDNEY - 11:31AM PDT, May 23rd 2012

sydney
Ventura, California

Hi Jess welcome to the groups!

i'm in the same boat as you since my teens i've lots the same 70 pounds
about 15 times :( only to gain it back.......

some days it's really had to question your self at every thing you put in your mouth
and what the consequences in NOT doing so....

i agree in the with the others focus on the first `10 pounds....when you look at the big number it tends to be over whelming especially if your struggling with your food choices

hang in there we're pulling for you!!


~ Sydney ~
**sw231~cw203**
:love: Healthy Habits :love:
231.....179....171....159.........115!
.......^......................................


ITAZURAH - 1:40PM PDT, Jun 2nd 2012

itazurah
Virginia

Thank you all for your welcome and your words of advice and encouragement. I'm working towards my first 20lbs but i just cant seem to get there. My own worst enemy is me, because when im shovelling crap into my mouth its to deal with emotions i dont want to face. I think when im eating badly i just think "who cares im not worthwhile" when im eating badly, i dislike myself, and when i dislike myself i eat badly because i dont care anymore. Its a vicious cycle. I'm two steps forward, two steps back at the moment, its exhausting. But success is about picking yourself up more times than you fall down, so here is me, picking myself up again. :)

I look in the mirror and am secretly afraid my tummy is going to be saggy forever and ive "ruined" my body so why even try. Negative self talk it a b1tch.

CKSW:257
CW:241.0
IGW:225
GW:150


TMOORE1 - 2:14PM PDT, Jun 2nd 2012

tmoore1

Jess, my heart goes out to you. I do the same thing, except I eat all sides of the emotional spectrum. When I'm happy and want to celebrate... I want food. When I'm bored or depressed... I eat. And then like you, when I'm ugly and hateful toward myself, I eat. No wonder I ate myself up to almost 400 pounds.

You have the right idea - the solution is to just keep slogging. It does get better.

As to "ruining" your body... who gets to decide? Are you worried about superficial appearance? Be careful; our society has a completely arbitrary (and changeable) definition of 'beautiful'. Trying to fit yourself into that narrow band will get you, or anybody!, into trouble. Instead, believe yourself to be beautiful, and you are. If you're thinking of how your body works, how it serves you and is able to do everything you ask of it, the news is good. Losing weight WILL return functionality that you may have lost. Your body can feel strong and fit and healthy.

You hang in there.

Toni

"You are what you repeatedly do."
HW390 CW238 GW180


DEEANN - 5:08AM PDT, Jun 3rd 2012

deeann
Illinois

Jess, I do the same things as well. When I'm feeling good about myself, the road is a lot easier, but when I'm feeling bad... it's anywhere from very difficult to impossible (but I'm determined not to give up - no matter how many set backs I have)

As for the beauty part, it's interesting that the subject came up. Just yesterday, I was thinking about how many there are of us (people like me) who look less than perfect, dress less than perfect, etc. But how so many are judged by their appearances. Then I thought about some of the people that I work with; always having their hair perfect, wearing the latest fashions, etc., but being so judgmental and hateful.

The thought I had was... wouldn't be interesting if our "true" (inner) beauty was what showed. Some of those 'pretty people' would be the most horrific sites you could imagine, lol.

A therapist asked me recently if I thought I was a good person. That was a difficult question for me because I believe I am basically good natured, but 'I' know all my faults and shortcomings. Then she made me say what was good about me. It was hard to say aloud, but I think it did help. She says she believes I see myself as a failure, but I'm not. Personally I don't classify myself as either a success or a failure, but I guess after I fail time after time, I must really lean more to that extreme.

I know, I'm rambling again. I just want everyone to know their not alone; we all have the same feelings and struggles, even if we often FEEL like we're the only ones.

((hugs))

Dee

HW 320 :bang:
SW 298 Joined 4/8/05
Lowest 163.3 (10/7/06) :rock1:
GW 161

June start = 250.1 :rolling1:

Current Pic=Vicki(LUCKDUCK2) & me during a visit summer 2006.


ITAZURAH - 10:44AM PDT, Jun 24th 2012

itazurah
Virginia

toni, thank you for your thoughtful post. You're quite right. Functionality and heath is the goal, not trying to fit into a cultural magazine cover definition of beauty, that is never going to happen, for pretty much anyone. I'm looking forward to being stronger, faster and able to wear more clothes.

Dee, interesting post, judgemental and hateful people are so frustrating. It makes it easy to judge yourself harshly when there are so many negativ voices out there. But i make a choice not to judge others that was, so i gain strength from not feeding into the b1tching frenzy.

Guess what! I lost 2 lbs this week. I'm so proud of myself :)

CKSW:257
CW:239
IGW:225
GW:150


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