Weekly Thread for week of 10/8/12

TICINO - 11:46AM PDT, Oct 8th 2012

ticino
Sacramento, California Area

Howdy Ho Everyone!!

I loved the comments from last week's thread. Welcome and we can all empathize! I did better in some ways this past week compared to the weekend before, but still not like I would like it. I think I was playing catch up on the sleep all week long. I thankfully was able to catch up on some much needed sleep this weekend. I made it a very relaxing weekend. Today I'm off so I will be catching up with things and try to get some meals planned for the week. I seem to do better when I plan a little.

I forgot to get on the scale this morning before I drank my water, so I will do a weigh in tomorrow instead. I think I will stick with my same 3 health goals as I apparently need to get that done before I move on to others.

I wish you all well this week. What are you 3 health goals for the week?

Suzanne


SW = 323.2 as of April 23, 2012
CW = 316.2
GW = 160

"It's your REACTION to ADVERSITY, not the adversity itself, that DETERMINES how your LIFE's STORY will develop." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf


TMOORE1 - 12:54PM PDT, Oct 8th 2012

tmoore1

Thanks for keeping up on this weekly thread, Suzanne.

My 3 goals.
1) log into Calorie King every single day
2) log every bite into the diary. No skipping it just because I binge.
3) exercise, do something, every day.

<deep breath> Okay, I can do it.

I can do it. I will do it."


WOODSANDWIND - 4:41PM PDT, Oct 8th 2012

woodsandwind
Up nort'

3 goals??? I'm new here so I have a question. Are the goals long term or daily?

Daily:
1. I need to spend less time on the computer!!!
2. I MUST drink more water.
3. I have to watch portion control much more closely.

Ev

May we all be filled with sisu - the tenacity to keep fighting the good fight!


TMOORE1 - 6:10AM PDT, Oct 9th 2012

tmoore1

Whew - made it through the first day of this week okay, hitting all 3 of my goals. Recording every single bite was the hardest.

I've already logged into CK today (that one's easy!) but I turned over and slept in instead of hitting the gym this morning. So I have to scheme and find another exercise plan for today. We'll see how the day goes.

Ev - I think the goals can be whatever you like.

As to portion control - do you have a kitchen scale? It's a Must Have item. If you already have one, use it. :-) I'm as guilty as anybody of ignoring it sometimes. Doesn't do us any good as a paperweight. Also, I sometimes eat pre-packaged frozen entrees. I wouldn't say those are 100% the best, freshest, healthiest nutrition I can find. But they DO help me understand what portions should be like, and it helps get my mind and stomach used to portions I should be eating.

Toni

"I can do it. I will do it."


WOODSANDWIND - 3:39PM PDT, Oct 9th 2012

woodsandwind
Up nort'

I do have a scale. I do not use it.

I am just lazy.......or unmotivated. I'm not sure.

Neither is really true. The truth is I sit and wait for validation for men so I can believe in myself. I see me the way men say they see me. That comes from trying to win the approval of my alcoholic abusive father and abusive husband.
I believe I am what they say I am. Or in my husband's case, since he refuses to say anything good or kind to me, I believe I am unworthy.....a nothing. And I've stayed, trying to win his approval.

Well, I am forcing myself to move forward, to do things, to take even tiny steps without his approval. I can do this. I don't need permission nor validation. I'm smart enough to know that my opinion of myself is closer to the truth than their opinion of me. The fact that my dad and husband are both abusers should tell me that their perceptions of females are skewed.

So,,,,,,,,,,,,I had a healthy stir fry for supper. And I scrubbed my kitchen floor on my hands and knees. That was a bone cruncher.

And I called my husband to tell him about this stuff and he called me stupid and said he'd never give me a compliment and he hung up. AND I DON"T CARE!!!

I'm smart enough to know I'm a good kind lady who got buried under a ton of weight because I just sat, waiting for his approval.

No more sitting. It is time for action. I am going to live my life the way it SHOULD have been lived..............based on MY belief in myself. No more waiting.

And suddenly this all seems so do-able. It makes so much sense. It feels like an act of total defiance. I admit I am afraid when I do something without his approval. But I am forcing myself to get up and do it anyway. I AM 60 years old. I think I can make a decision on my own......a good decision. Time to do the dishes and clean the bathroom floor.....knee crunching time again. Defying an abuser is very liberating. And losing weight and becoming attractive again is an absolute act of defiance and insubordination!! Watch the weight roll off now!!

Ev

Last Edited: 3:54pm PDT, October 9th 2012

TMOORE1 - 6:56AM PDT, Oct 10th 2012

tmoore1

Ev - <big grin>

You go girl.

Toni

"I can do it. I will do it."


TICINO - 7:57AM PDT, Oct 10th 2012

ticino
Sacramento, California Area

Hi Ev & Toni:

Congrats to both of you for keep moving forward. In answer to Ev's question about the goals -- I think you can make them what you want. I know for me that it takes a while to make it a habit, but I seem to better when I set myself a couple of goals to become a "master" of - so for me the goals are semi-long term in that I hope to develop them into a habit, but I can only do that if I focus on them daily until I make them a regular habit, then I can add another health goal to move me towards a healthier life style.

For me it's also a thing about planning, and time management. Sleep is important and I have a tendency to over load my schedule or things that I think shouldn't take too long take longer than they should. When I don't get enough sleep I have a tendency to get the sugar craving things going and lack energy to even try to work in exercise, even though I used to be fairly athletic. I'm turning 50 next August and I really don't want to be anywhere near 300 lbs. (preferably ender 200 lbs) by then. I decided if I could strive to lose an average of 2.5 lbs a week that would be a little more manageable, and not feel so overwhelming. If I can do that I could lose over 100 lbs. by then, and I would be losing about 10 lbs. a month. In my little pea brain calculations that should be so doable. When I moved my office a week ago I got a little off track but I am striving to get back to the program. I'm about 7 lbs from my goal pace, so I need to step it up a little to take off a little more than the 2.5 lbs to keep up with my average.

I wish you both a great week and keep up the good work. Sometimes I think just the fact we keep picking ourselves up every time we trip and fall is quite miraculous in and of itself. We could've just sat back, given up and given in to our unhealthy lifestyle patterns/coping skills. I think because we continue to keep trying displays a great amount of strength and courage!

Suzanne

SW = 323.2 as of April 23, 2012
CW = 311.6
GW = 160

"It's your REACTION to ADVERSITY, not the adversity itself, that DETERMINES how your LIFE's STORY will develop." - Dieter F. Uchtdorf


WOODSANDWIND - 6:07PM PDT, Oct 10th 2012

woodsandwind
Up nort'

I saw my counselor today and shared my thoughts on needing so much affirmation that I am motionless until I receive it. She agreed that it comes from my male dominated childhood.

The thing that really amazed me was that I am finally able to see the entire cylce of my being stuck. My desperation for male approval leads to my being with men, any man, but generally they are men who are not worthy. That leads to me being in precarious, dangerous situations. The fear I get from being in those situations makes me doubt my ability to make a good choice. So I am back to seeking validation from men.

The sad part is that this all started because, as a child, a ended up with a "not nice" man who my parents trusted. Even at a young age I sensed he was bad news. But I trusted my parents so I went with him, against my own judgment. Needless to say, it was a very bad move. Very bad. And because I went with him, I believed it was my fault.

Today, for the first time, I realized it was not my fault. I KNEW he was bad news. And now, 55 years later, I KNOW I can trust my judgment. If I had been able to follow my instincts as a child, I would have not gone with that man. But that wasn't my choice.

So I FINALLY understand why I have never been able to trust my judgment........why I just sit and wait for a man to tell me what to do.

Not anymore. My instincts are just as sharp now as they ever were. Only now I am going to listen to them. AND because I know i have good instincts, I am no longer needy for validation.

So.............the new book begins. This time it is going to be a journey that is savored on a daily basis, rather than flying to the end. Each motion, each thought will be cherished. This time the journey shall be mine!! No more seeking approval. No more. I don't need a man to tell me what or who I am, or what to do or when. I am losing weight for me. Not to please some man. Not to win some mans' approval. This time it is for me.

EV

THis is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it!!!! Psalm 118:24


Ev

May we all be filled with sisu - the tenacity to keep fighting the good fight!


TMOORE1 - 8:36PM PDT, Oct 10th 2012

tmoore1

Well, I only hit two of my three goals yesterday - logged everything, but skipped the exercise. I had the best of intentions, but flaked out that evening. Rats.

Did better today!!
1) Signed in to CK, which makes me think about think this process. Check.
2) logged every single bite, even the brownies (erk). Check.
3) Exercised! My favorite instructor was teaching water aerobics, so even after a brutal day at work, I got to the gym. Check.

Whew. Made it. That's one day in a row - now let's see if I can make it two.

Toni


"I can do it. I will do it."


TMOORE1 - 9:43AM PDT, Oct 12th 2012

tmoore1

Dang it, I'm not doing so good even at these simple health goals.
Rrrrrrr, can't get my focus back.

I've have been here on CK every day. That's a Good Thing.
I've sort-kinda logged everything. I just did yesterday's from memory. I know that's not good; I should do it right then, as the day goes along. At least the logging makes me more mindful of what I'm eating. Yowzer those calories add up when I go off the rails.

I'm most worried that I've been skipping the exercise. Did a class Wednesday, but nothing Thursday and I rolled over and slept in instead of going to the gym today. Day's not over, but it's Friday and that makes it tough to get motivated.

Gotta get my mind back to the right attitude.

Ev, Suzanne, how are you two doing?

Toni

"I can do it. I will do it."


TMOORE1 - 7:36PM PDT, Oct 13th 2012

tmoore1

Well, I met all my goals today: logged everything, exercised, and checked in here on CK. Even ended up with a green check for the day.

Not feeling too good about it though, because I ate enormous amounts of junk. The only reason the calories balanced out is because of my tough exercise regime.

This is NOT following a healthful eating plan. I need to think about this more.

Toni

"I can do it. I will do it."


TMOORE1 - 12:09PM PDT, Oct 15th 2012

tmoore1

Well, I kinda sorta hit my goals, checking in, recording, skipped a exercising on a few days, though.

Boy, what garbage I am eating. No wonder I've turned my attention away from CK. It's embarrassing to look at the statistics.

But I do like this thread. Maybe just being accountable will help me get back on track.

Suzanne, are you going to start another one for the new week?

Toni
"I can do it. I will do it."


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