Joined early April..................................

JOANIE157 - 5:51AM PDT, Apr 25th 2010

Joined early April but it took until today for me to really make a commitment not to be 100% but try for it - I gained 74 pounds back of the 122 pounds I lost back in 1990 to 1991!
I am 10 years older I have arthritis - sciatica - and had my right hip replaced due to an accident. And having this extra weight on me is killing me in every respect - especially my psyche (but the physical pain is right up there!). I am a stress eater and in truth I started to get a little sloppy about my food plan back in 1995 but I was able to keep my weight pretty much under control. After 911 it all went downhill - I lost 2 friends that day and I lived in a building where someone had a huge party that night - I say the towers fall - I could smell the stink of that devastation for weeks and the smoke rising from the rubble for weeks. I had to sleep at t relative’s house for a few days, the party going on in my apartment building through me over the edge that day.

For me the stress in my life just escalated from there - my father, mother-in-law and my husband and then my nephew all had different devastating illnesses and operations. My Dad passed away from Cancer - My Mother-In-Law died after being on dialysis after 4 years and developed cancer - My husband was on chemo drugs - hand a knee replacement that failed - had prostate cancer and a total prostatectomy - had his knee replacement revised (redone) and had to stop work this year for good. My nephew the love of my life had a psychotic break and is still a shell of what he once was. But with all that being said, it doesn't give me license to harm myself with overeating. I have beat the odds so far with obesity related diseases and that is remarkable considering my family’s history with HBP and diabetes. My Mother died as the result of diabetes when she was 56 years old - I will be 53 this year. My Mother's Father died at 42 related to his obesity and other bad habits and my Mothers Aunt died at 48 due to a stroke and it was related to obesity.

I know beating the odds so far has made me deceive myself in many ways - which I have all these things against me; stress, chronic pain, menopause yada yada yads. But this morning I know it's not beating the odds - it's Russian roulette! I sit around with ice packs for the pain - I use my tens machine - stretch - take pain medication and then I rationalize eating a pint of ice cream - or that hummus is healthy (which it is) but eating half a bag of "baked" tortilla chips kind of zeros out the healthy part.

Late yesterday afternoon I was out celebrating a relatives birthday and I had the dreaded diet mentality - tomorrow is my start date so I am going to go to hell with myself the rest of the day - even as I looked around the table at the restaurant and saw that all at our table was seriously overweight and who is taking what for HBP - Cholesterol - GERD, we feasted on the worst of the worst you could order for people with our weight and health problems.

On the way home I picked up a pint of ice cream - for the "last night"! and this morning I feel like hell (It almost feels like a bad hangover) I have a headache - I feel like I have no energy - I couldn't sleep because of the food I ate - sugars and fats!. My hip is killing me. This morning I am truly at my bottom. And the only way for me know is up. From yesterdays overdoing it I can't say that I am psyched - but I am hopeful! On Wednesday I added a year to my gym membership - I am going tomorrow morning. I am going to drink plenty of water today and committing to healthy food choices and to journaling. (I just started with Psychotherapy - I know that I need all the help I can get. I know how to be a caretaker - but know I have to really learn to take care of me!)
Joanie


ALWAYSNYER - 5:39AM PDT, Apr 29th 2010

alwaysnyer
Florida

Wow! what a journey you've had. But, the good news is that you've taken the weight off before so we know you can do it again!! This time, you are aware of the pitfalls and I agree that having all the tools you've put in place will be of great help to you. Remember we here at CK are all in the same boat, trying to get those pounds off so we are here to encourage you. Take each day one at a time and don't beat yourself up if you backslide. Just start anew the very next MEAL.
Life is a journey and the best is yet to come. Good Luck, Elaine


ALF - 9:42PM PDT, May 21st 2010

Okay, I am on the West Coast and feeling sorry for myself because I am a teacher. I went to a going away luncheon today; we are losing 6 members of our school due to budget cuts and increased class sizes. We are going up to 30 kids in each class next year, and we were all crying because people we have worked with for 10 years are losing their jobs. Reading your story helped put this in perspective. We are still alive. I was having a major stress eating episode this evening after the luncheon, but managed to hold it to mini rice cakes and did not bust the calorie limit. Thanks for your story. I needed it.


TROCHESTER1 - 4:46AM PDT, May 23rd 2010

trochester1
Colorado

Alf,

Sorry to hear of your plight. My wife and I are retired teachers, thankfully, but have two daughters who are also teachers and face your concerns. Teaching, unfortunately, exists at the whim of the taxpayers and the school tax is the only negotiable tax available to the voters. Our dilemma is partially our fault, I feel, as our union system has protected many people that shouldn't be retained in the system. This becomes very evident to the voting public and they respond.
We also are driven by political ideologies which control curriculum and sometimes negatively impact teacher effectiveness. I don't have an answer for the plight of our educational system, but I fear that once the cuts are made, the class sizes increased, the curriculums modified, etc. returning to the former status quo will be very difficult.
Hang in there and know that you are doing the best that you can under the circumstances.


ALF - 7:33PM PDT, May 26th 2010

Thank you for your kind words. You are right about teachers being protected when it really is time for them to find a different job. I blame ineffective administrators who do not let these people go prior to tenure. I also agree about education being the easiest place to cut in years of budget deficits. Our entire district is feeling these terrible times, from D.O. to custodial. I started teaching when class sizes were much larger, but standards were not as stringent. I feel that soon we will all be failing unless there is some type of adjustment to the expectations for what one teacher can accomplish with thirty children with uninvolved parents. I wish your daughters well...I hope they are not low on the seniority list!


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