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Bathing Suit Blues - Be Gone!

Pat Fiducia and Anna Delany

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No one else is looking (quite so hard)

Are you too critical?

The thought that "others are watching and judging" can blow your self-consciousness out of proportion. Controlling this thought is a key to getting self-consicousness under control. Next time you start to feel that all eyes are on you, just take a step back. How realistic is this perception? Is everyone really staring at you and judging you? Are you that interesting?!

The fact is, tall or short, skinny or plump, in shape or out-of-shape, most women are self-conscious - and nine out of ten of them are self-conscious in a bathing suit. So do the other eight out of ten women really look like Godzilla? Or are they, like you, just too darn self-conscious or preoccupied with outer appearances? How about looking on the bright side of the statistics: If so many women are so worried about how they look, then they're not really looking at you!

That takes care of the women, but what about the other half of the population? Won't the men ridicule or judge you? Actually ladies, men are generally more likely to be ogling supermodel types than criticizing those of us who aren't a perfect size 2. And as for that extra crinkle of cellulite that resides ¼ inch below and 30 degrees to the right of your left kneecap? "What's cellulite again?" is their most likely response.

Remember, you are your own worst critic, but that doesn't mean everyone else has to be: Keep your oversized ogle-goggles to yourself!

 


Tips for taming self-consiousness

What you do with self-consciousness is up to you; ultimately, you decide how you are going to percieve yourself. And whether it's a "my-hips-are-too-big," a "my-butt-wobbles," or a "my-legs-are-like-chicken-legs" criticism, there are several ways to get the belittling under control. You can:

  • Challenge the self-talk that perpetuates your self-consciousness. Is everybody really looking at and poking fun at you? Are you really that visible in the grand scheme of others' lives? Are your thighs the worst that anyone can imagine?
  • Develop an awareness of your own filters, both the ones that obscure your good points and the ones that exaggerate your less-than-perfect points.
  • Be realistic: So what if you're not a flawless super model? Guess what, without airbrushing neither are they!
  • Act your age. If you are comparing yourself to the way you used to look when you were 20, don't (unless you're 21!). Learn to fit the body you have now.
  • Take action to change what you can. If you've been overeating and underexercising and it shows, start making some changes. You can eat more wisely and exercise more.
  • Accept what you can't change. Bone structure, age, skin tone - these things are yours for keeps. Learn to accept them and focus on those things you can change.

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