If you step back a moment and think about the dialogue you have with yourself when you’re in situations such as the hypothetical Haagen-Dazs scenario we've just explored, you might notice something interesting. Doesn’t it sound just like an argument between a dominating parent and an irrational child?

In fact, according to Eric Berne’s theory of personality that’s exactly what’s going on. Berne’s theory, commonly known as Transactional Analysis (TA), sees personality as made up of a Parent, a Child, and an Adult, each having control of a person’s feelings, thoughts and actions in response to different situations. This idea that in each of us there is a Child, a Parent, and an Adult directing our thoughts, feelings and actions can help us understand why we react to things, including food, the way we do.

For example, in a situation where a food decision has to be made, people who have trouble controlling their weight will often let their Parent or Child make the decision for them, instead of allowing their Adult to be in control.

Your Child state is essentially a return to your childhood. The thoughts and feelings that you experience in this state are often playful, imaginative, and spontaneous. But they can also be immature, resistant, and willful. Decisions in this state are usually driven by feelings rather than thoughts, and by wants rather than consequences.

When you're presented with a choice between a huge ice cream or none at all, and you let your inner Child make the decision, he or she will almost always opt for the ice cream.

Even if your inner Parent argues back and says “you can’t have it, it’s bad for you," your more vocal inner Child may find it easy to just dismiss this parental “you can’t, you shouldn’t” and the result is often a 1000-calorie mega-sundae with all the toppings, or something similar. Although the Child may have won the battle and had the ice cream, childlike feelings of guilt and remorse often follow.