Tis the Season to Be Jolly?

Expression is the first rung on the ladder out of depression. If you can figure out why you're feeling blue, you're on your way to solving the problem. If you're feeling stumped by just what's getting you down, take a wild guess and go with your first answer - you might be surprised at what it uncovers. Here are some common reasons for feeling the blues in the holidays:

• Too much to do, too little time to do it all
• Nothing to do, while everyone else is bustling around
• Feeling overworked and unappreciated
• Missing family, friends and loved ones
• Feeling like your life is so much worse than everyone else's
• Feeling outside the circle of happiness
• Not having enough social interaction
• Feeling a lack of companionship or love
• Remembering good times past
• Being disappointed and having unmet expectations
• Feeling that you don't have enough money
• Overspending

Once you recognize some of the reasons you are feeling blue, it can be tempting to give in further to feelings of defeat and negativity. Don't do it! Realize that you do have control over your perceptions, feelings and reactions. Don't let them crush or control you. Instead, challenge your perceptions and feelings and figure out ways to improve them by asking yourself questions like these:

• Am I imposing loneliness on myself?
• Am I creating a situation of isolation?
• Is there really too much to do?
• What can I do to feel better?
• How can I turn this around quickly?
• How will I feel the rest of the month, if I don't do something now?
• Are my expectations reasonable?
• Were the good times really that good, and is it really that bad now?
• What can I do for someone else?
• Am I just feeling sorry for myself?
• How can I cut back on spending too much and still meet my obligations?

Just asking your own questions may provide you with answers that will diminish your blues. Common answers to common blues issues include:

• I can stop comparing myself to people who seem to have much more than I do. Maybe they do and maybe they don't, but I do know there are millions of people around the world who have far less.
  
  
• I won't expect people to read my mind. Whenever I can, I will ask for what I want and need.
  
  
• I'm going to stop isolating myself and get involved. Maybe I'll join a chorale or volunteer for a charity group.
  
  
• I'm going to call some of my old friends. I'm going to visit my nearby relatives. I'm going to reach out to my co-workers.
  
  
• I will put in the extra effort to shop at discount stores and look for bargains and sale items. I will buy or make cookies and candies in lieu of expensive gifts. I will realize that gifts should come from the heart, not the pocketbook. I won't compete. I'll only give what I can comfortably afford to give.
  
  
• I will be grateful for what I do have, instead of lamenting what I don't have.
  
  
• I will stop drinking so much alcohol, cut back on sugar and move my body, even if I don't want to because I know that my mood can be improved with healthy eating and consistent exercise.
  
  
• If I'm feeling too stressed out, I will do something nice for myself.
  
  
• If I'm feeling bored, I can do something nice for someone else.

As soon as you have some clues to what's eating you and some options for managing your feelings, don't wait until you "feel like" acting on them, do it then and there.

Lack of energy, zero motivation, and the belief that you have no control over your feelings are part and parcel of feeling down or depressed. In fact, it is quite unnatural to want to do anything at all when you are feeling blue. Be aware of this tendency, and take action whether you feel like it or not. Your new feelings will catch up with your new actions.

But we won't kid you - while you have the power to kick out these feelings that have taken up temporary residence in your psyche, it does take some work. However, remember you are in control of your own decisions and feelings. Although you might not ever feel as jolly as Santa, you can make choices that bring a little more cheer to your holiday season.