I have been expecting this for months and months. I thought I was prepared. I took in the news and was basically just blank. Went into gear of what do I need to do to get there as fast as possilbe. Its 11 hours away. I have 2 sick kids. Husband has to get off work. I need to pack. etc.... Then I got overwhelmed and broked down withen the hour. Ended up in the bed, face down in the pillow, getting nothing done at alll. I just lost it. i wanted nothing but to go away, to sleep and not think at all.
It was a rough night.
My husband was wonderful. He did eventually get me some what calmed down. I never made it back out of the bed. Ended up taking some Valium and knocking myself out. Before I made it to the bed however I stuffed my face with 2 servings of chips. Great Erika!!! Emotional Eating Rears Its Ugly Head!!!! Oh well. I thought I had come so far. I really thought I had gotten past the emotional eating for the most part. But with this much stress that is the first place I went. Jason actually took the chips out of my hand and threw the bag away. Bless my sweet husbandGotta love him

SO today is a new day. I am going to have control of myself. I am not going to run and hide like a little girl. I can deal with this. She is in a better place. She was miserable. This is what I wanted for her.

I am going to write out goal for my week away:
Take care of myself inside and out.
Stay around maintance calories (1800)
Exersize 3 times- Cardio and corework
DRINK WATER (surely I can atleast do this????)
Remember that GOD is in control, I don't have to be, Rely on this Erika!

The funeral I think is going to be on Saturday in Ohio. We are leaving today after J gets off work around 2. Anyone who happens to read this, please pray for safe travels and a comforting, good family week for my extended family all together this week in Ohio. I am looking forward to spending time with my family. We are pretty tight. (most of us, there is that one strange sister and her strange family of course, but doesn't ever family have one of those????)