I feel for all of you fellow CK members who live up here in this awful northern weather day in and day out. Its so grey. ALl the yucky grey/brown mix of snow along the sides of the road. Everything looks so dirty and gray! Its so darn COLD on top of it. My kids are stuck inside! And I am just here for the week!

WE were at the funeral yesterday. It was small, just family. We were lucky that is was a relatively warm day for ohio weather. So I guess it was nice. I had to heavily medicate myself to make it through the day to tell you the truth. My granfathers death just recently (my mom's dad) and then my grandfather, the grandmother whose funeral this was, well all of theirs dealths came back to me and I was morning all three. Especially when I heard that they were going to bury my grandfathers ashes in the casket with grandma. I really lost it. I was so close to him. He was such a great and wonder ful man. My grandmother loved him so much. The two of them were inseperabe. He was so great with kids, all kids loved him. I think I was morning the fact that my kids are never going to be able to experiance playing with that wonderful man. Never will have one of my grandmothers amazing apple pies. Anyways....
it was rougher than expected.
Grandma Hooper has been sick and suffering so I was so happy for her to go and meet her LOrd. NO more hurt. I didn't expect to encounter all of the raw emotion I am experiances this week.
My goals are some what out the window.
They are in the back of my mind. I will not go hog wild. I am emotional eater and my biggest realistic goal is going to have to be to be mindful of this. Not to go crazy and put eveything in site in my mouth. the opportunity is at every corner for sure. You know how crazy people go after a funeral with bringing food, and its never healty food.
erika
if anyone actually reads this please pray for me. That I will look to God for my strength. That i will realize I am not lost and in caous but secure in his loving hands. REMEMBER THIS ERIKA!!!! God has you girl!