Apparently, I'm not eating enough. Is it possible to eat too many veggies? I feel that if I attempt to eat one more raw or lightly steamed veggie, it's just not going to make it to my stomach.

I really really tried to eat enough today. I was stuffing it down just about every hour even when I wasn't hungry. But, I just felt full, full, full- like I couldn't possibly put one more thing inside of me.

It might be all these egg whites. I ate 14 egg whites today and one whole egg. Oh my word. Just looking at it in print makes my stomach do flips. And this is only day two!

I want to do this in a healthy way! I want it to be lasting. And having my net calories not make it to 600 is definately bad, bad, bad! I think I'll buy some soymilk on the way home so that I can at least get some liquid calories in. That never bothers me. And fish. I will replace some of these blasted egg whites with fish.

I would buy cheese but it's SO EXPENSIVE here (in Shanghai). For a two serving container of cottage cheese I could take a 20 minute taxi ride, buy 3 days worth of veggies, buy 15 servings of soymilk or a week's worth of fish. So, it would be quite a sacrifice. Maybe I will buy it once a week.

So, I think that due to not getting enough to eat with the added stress of an upcoming major work deadline that I don't know how I am going to meet, I was so weepy today. AND it's not my time of month and I am generally very stable unless I am physically weak through hunger or lack of sleep.

I almost burst into tears when I was double-charged for parking my bike (which is like crying over a quarter). Then, when I was working on my writing materials in an international coffee shop I saw two super friendly American women chatting with the coffee barista and I teared up thinking how I missed my mom.

I am pathetic (and ickily gassy too).

My poor boyfriend doesn't know what to do. He wants to alieviate my stress somehow but I told him that I am not so bad and he makes me feel better just by being his wonderful self and my boyfriend. I don't need to take him on my emotional rollercoaster, really. This too will pass.

I must plan this eating thing better.