LYNNABEL's Oct 2004 CalorieKing Blog

Thursday, October 28th 2004

We are having potluck here at work today so I’m feeling antsy – as if something is happening today, which it is, but not in the same way I feel. I just get feelings, sometimes, that something is going to HAPPEN. This feeling isn’t necessarily accurate in predicting that something WILL happen, but it makes me feel unsettled non the less.

I have a lot of anxiety of a few projects at work, but I am doing so much better at managing the anxiety. I’m still bothered but not to the panick-y ext...

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Monday, October 25th 2004

I miss S today – its wonderful and sad at the same time to miss my husband just going to work. He starts his realty classes today. I’ve very excited for him, but also very sad for the puppy who won’t have his dad around during the day, at least for this week and part of next. I feel much more comfortable with Ripple now – this weekend seemed to make a difference. I got Fatty shaved and how he’s a new cat – he seems to be back to his old self and spent hours on S’s chest last night just pu...

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Monday, October 18th 2004

I thought I’d take a chance to write while I’m happy since I seem to not need to write when I am happy - only when I’m not.

S and I had a good evening last night. We watched TV and laughed and wink-wink/nudge-nudge’d. We had a bit of a tiff later on when I told him about something that had bothered me that he had said a few days ago, and he got very defensive at first, but we were able to talk through it after a bit. I tried to point out to him that it’s unfair of him to ask me to tell...

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Tuesday, October 12th 2004

I realized last night that perhaps the way I felt on Sunday and on Monday (yesterday) were variations of my panic attacks. Anxiety, despair, and an irrational but irrefutable sense of the world being against me in some way. I know how irrational it is, but I can’t articulate the sense of giving in, of “okay, I give up” I feel when I’m in those moments. And anything can add to it – I jammed my thumb into the floor trying to pry a tiny round ball out of the dog’s mouth and that incident exac...

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Monday, October 11th 2004

Sunday, October 10th, 2004

I just figured out how to use the new Open Office program that Sis installed for me. Its very helpful because I've found that converting between Works and Word is time consuming. This should be much easier.

I think I have gay cats. Fatty does this strange thing every once in while to Tibby where he puts in paws on Tibby and his back half spasms like he is mating Tibby. He isn't he can't. Neither of them can. But maybe that impulse survives sometimes? Since Ri...

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