Thursday, Oct 28 2004
View LYNNABEL's food & exercise for this day
We are having potluck here at work today so Im feeling antsy as if something is happening today, which it is, but not in the same way I feel. I just get feelings, sometimes, that something is going to HAPPEN. This feeling isnt necessarily accurate in predicting that something WILL happen, but it makes me feel unsettled non the less.
I have a lot of anxiety of a few projects at work, but I am doing so much better at managing the anxiety. Im still bothered but not to the panick-y extent I would have been not long ago. Im working with the Feeling Good workbook, but I dont k now that I can attribute the improvement totally to that. Today may just be a good day. (Thats an example of Discounting the Positive!) LOL.
Lots of love in my house S and the puppy and the kitties. I dont know what makes me feel better the puppy sheer excitement when I get home or Ss hugs and kisses when I walk in the door. Ripple had an accident last night (just pee) and its the third night in row of this for her. She is ahead of other puppies with so many things, so its hard for us to figure out if this is to be expected or if there is a problem. She is taken outside virtually each hour at night when were home so its not that she hasnt been able to go. She also has been going 4-5 hours during the day without peeing, so its not as if her little bladder cant hold it. S thinks its to get back at Fatty (one of the cats), but Im not sure that it is. I think Ripple is just a puppy and gets so excited when both S and I are home together and doesnt really know what to do with herself. I truly think shell grow out of it, but we both agonize over the accidents. She is sleeping in the mud room now at night from about 10pm to 5:20am when I get up and let her outside. I wish she slept better in our room, but she doesnt. I just worry that she is in the mud room during the day she should havent to be in there at night.
I got a call from Stephanie last night that she ran into A in NYC in a store. What a small world. She said that A said she had just seen me and that I looked like a million bucks and seemed very happy.
Okay, I am anxious about work. I suppose I should stop writing this and see what there is I can do. Im at a stopping point (cant go further point) with all my project. S always talks about hating to rely on other people and often I can see why he expresses the feeling/frustration that way. It is hard to have to rely on other people to do your job, run your country, be in traffic with you, etc.
A side note and this may be TMI so read with caution. My nipples are still not functioning the way they should and by should I mean in sexual sense, not in a lactating sense (obviously). My breasts have always been wonderfully sensitive but they are just not working/responding right. I would think they would be back to normal since its been almost six months since my breast reduction surgery. It makes me sad. Ive heard both that both increased and decreased sensitivity is normal for B/R surgery, but I had hoped to be in the increased category if anything.
Why am I almost teary?