LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog

Friday, Sep 11 2009

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Fatty: I made the decision to put my Fatty to sleep. It was a hard decision. The medicine wasn’t eliminating the internal bleeding or his chronic vomiting. After I made the decision, Steve stepped in and was such a support to me, I couldn’t have asked for more. He arranged it and took Fatty in, sat with and petted him until he faded away. We buried Fatty together on our property. I am going to put together a placard of sorts with a picture of Fatty and his birth year and death year. I miss my Fatty, but I do believe he was suffering more than he should have had to and that he is at peace now.

Will: Oh, Will. He is breaking my heart right now. The potty training is such a struggle. Its going on 5 months now that we have been working on pooping in the potty without consistent success. Last night Steve and I decided that we were going to ditch the diapers all together and deal with accidents as they happen. (Will wears underwear anytime he is out of bed, but he is saving his pooping for his diaper at night. When he doesn’t save it, he only goes on the potty after an hour or more of sitting on the potty, crying, etc.) We will have to figure out how to encourage him to use the potty if he needs to when he is down for a nap or at night-time. Traditionally he won’t call out to us, and certainly doesn’t leave his room until one of us comes to get him. The process is making all of us miserable. Steve and I would be happy to cry uncle and let Will poop in his diaper until he’s 17 except that the poop chaps his bottom so badly it would abusive to allow it to happen. His skin gets literally raw, and red, and so tender he can’t stand anything on it, even water.

Today is that last day of his first full week of preschool. He is breaking Steve’s heart because he cries all morning until he gets to school. Will has been very happy and in a great mood when Steve picks him up, which helps, but the morning crying is hard.

I am very anxious to have parent/teacher conferences in October to get a sense of where Will is at. Steve gets some information as he picks Will up, but I really want an in-depth discussion of it.

Next week I plan to try to talk briefly to the teacher on the phone to make sure Will isn’t upset at school and is appearing to at least have some fun. I think he is having a good time when he is there, but its hard to get much information from him in his own words and I would like the reassurance of the teachers.

I am feeling tender and guilty about Will – as if I am not doing enough to protect him. It is making me tear up even as I write about it. It is these moments that make being a mother who works outside of the home feel extra hard.

Therapist: I’ve been to see my therapist twice now, and am really liking it. I’m reading a book called “The New Rules of Marriage” that I am finding so helpful. She recommend the book to me not because of my marriage, but because she sensed I could use many of the techniques and information from the book in OTHER relationships (such as with work colleagues and my children) to help me better manage my feelings. I’m a bit of a self-help cynic but this book has had lots of information/ideas that just ring true to me.

She helped me link a situation at work with other situations from my earlier years, and she seems to think that living at a boarding school for 3 years in my ‘tweens was far more formative than I have ever really given thought to.

She suggested I try yoga, so I’ve signed up for a community ed yoga class that starts in October.

Weight, exercising, and eating: are in the lame, but not totally hopeless, category. Time enough to deal with that later.

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7 comments so far.


8 years ago

Oh Lynnie...I'm so sorry about Fatty! What a heartbreaking decision that has to be. But obviously the right one. :kiss:

by AMYC18



8 years ago

And I'm also sorry about Fatty. It's always tough when pets leave us. Seems like they're never here long enough no matter how long they live.

by JAY



8 years ago

Can I suggest a possible fix to the potty impasse? Explain to Will that if he starts going to the potty his bottom won't be sore and chapped any more. Certainly couch it in a way he'll understand it but don't underestimate him making the connection between a really sore bum and wearing a diaper.

by JAY



8 years ago

Lynnie, I'm so sorry about Fatty! :kiss: OK, so I have to tell you that when The Hippy was a wee one, I used to worry about every single behavior or problem that we had. And look how well THAT turned out! (OK, that was a little wry sarcasm there.) If I've learned anything about worry, it's that what's going to happen is what's going to happen. Most of the things you worry about never happen. The ones that do you couldn't have changed anyway. He WILL get potty-trained, and you'll look back later and it will seem like ancient history. (Princess wet her pants until she was 4 - just sayin'.) The fact that he's happy when Steve picks him up is telling; but yeah, that's heart-wrenching to leave them like that in the morning. :kiss:




8 years ago

Lynn...I'm sorry about Fatty...but glad that Steve was able to step up and help you in ways that made it a little easier for you! :kiss: ~ As for Will, our children's struggles are our own..and it's hard to let go of that! Have you mentioned his poop problems to the pediatrician? It don't think its that un-normal for kids to have more trouble with pooping in the potty ... for some, it's control. For others, it's the fact that something that was part of their body is now being flushed down the toilet! Weird..I know..but I've read that somewhere! Would a book help? I know there are a lot of great potty books on the market. When all else is my mantra on parenting. It will get better ... then worse .. then better again and on and on ... it sucks, but ain't it the truth? :laugh5:




8 years ago

So sorry about Fatty. It seems like it was clearly time, though, & good for S for stepping up to help you. :kiss: I hope things get easier with Will.




8 years ago

I'm so sorry that you had to let Fatty go, but you did the right thing as a pet owner. It's so hard to let them go - they just love you unconditionally and that's a hard love to say goodbye to. Sounds like Fatty had a good life with a loving family...I'm sure he's chasing mice and gorging at a seafood buffet right now :kiss: