LYNNABEL's CalorieKing blog

Wednesday, Apr 28 2010

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The honeymoon at work is over. I'm basically back to where I started - feeling raw and punished for doing the type of job that I think should, and that I would expect from someone else in my position. I'm resolving again to keep my options open and be a little more proactive about looking for other opportunities. I feel like I'm not a good fit for ANYTHING I'm seeing, though. I wish I had either some financial experience or auditing experiencing. Both of those would help. Unfortunately, I can't seek either one of those opportunities in my current role - I'm already being told I'm acting too broadly. This is my frustration in a nutshell - half of my job is to be in charge of the company's compliance with state and federal regulations. However, I was chastized for putting together a list of our products and the impact (or not) that the federal healthcare reform will have on them. I was told this isn't a priority. The sense I get is that I will never be considered for more advanced roles within this organization. Which was the whole point of sticking it out.

This is a part of my personality that I really dislike - I'm allowing myself to feel discouraged and resentful already because I find myself thinking "I don't have the time or space to look for a job, in addition to working full time and being a mother." It just not fair to feel that way because I haven't really tried yet.

I need to reach out to my contacts and let people know I am interested in other opportunities. That is a start. I have been and will continue to monitor job postings. (I also find myself thinking about all the people out there already looking for work ... ) In the meantime, I need to find a way to keep myself sane. I need to realize that it will probably take a long time for the right thing to come along.

I wish I knew what I wanted in the next phase. I know I want to be able to implement my ideas with the assistance of a staff. Right now I am discouraged from feeling empowered and am not rewarded for implementing ideas and I also have to do it all myself because the company is so small.

I find it hard to maintain my dignity in my current role. I have a feeling that I'm being seen as/treated as a teenager rather than an adult. Ya know? Makes it hard to hold my head up and not internalize that. Because I find myself thinking "There must be something about me that encourages people to treat me this way."

I'm going to take a break now because I'm feeling very upset.

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10 comments so far.


8 years ago





8 years ago

Thank you for all the well wishes, you are such a dear.




8 years ago

Oh hon...I hope you find something new soon. Until then, keep your head up. :kiss: And I would love to be Will and Ellen's mama. :inlove1: But nothing will ever happen to you so I will just have to continue to adore them from afar!! :)

by AMYC18



8 years ago

I hear ya! Hope you find something else soon. :kiss:




8 years ago

Stace's comment lost me (or I'm misunderstanding it). "Good enough" is a perfectly okay result for most work tasks. Seeking perfection in everything leads to a very frustrating life. The fact is 'good enough' is good enough 95% of the time. I'm not encouraging mediocrity, we should all do the best job we're capable of. I'm only saying that sweating over perfection where it isn't necessary is a recipe for perpetual frustration.

by JAY



8 years ago

[There must be something about me that encourages people to treat me this way.]

for all the confidence questions you pose about yourself, I think what you're up against is the insecurity of others. you know how to do this job and you know how to do it well. it is not 'people' treating you this way, it is a microculture that appears to encourage 'good enough'.

I am absolutely feeling the same way in my current role, being treated like a rookie and not being appreciated for the talents I have. I'm trying to harness that as anger and motivation for change, but it's very easy to feel defeated by it. I'm also working to accept that the position just isn't a good fit, no matter how much I want it to be or how much it might have been when I took the job. the work, or the culture.

and I know some of my resentment stems from the responsibility to provide for my family. the salary, the insurance, the stability... we depend on me for our lifestyle. sure we could change it, but not without some stress and big changes ahead.

we should really just move closer and open a business together. I wonder what sort of internet business we could do. :cool:




8 years ago

So sorry you're dealing with this Lynn. It sounds very unpleasant. Wish I could come give you a hug. Take good care of yourself. :kiss:




8 years ago

Oh Lynnie, I sure hope change is a comin'. There is something out there for ya and when its time it will be revealed to you. In the meantime just keep being patient like you are currently doing. I mentioned this in my blog last week and I would like to share it with you today. My grandmother always said something like, don't let those who are angry, manipulating, self-serving and all around not considerate or kind rob you of your happiness and/or stress you out to a point in which you don't know if you are coming or going or how you should get there. Why not? Because these are the same people who will drive you into an early grave while they themselves will continue to go on with life, happy as ever known to be, oblivious of their actions or simply not caring. Take your joy back from that job, don't let it rob you of all the happiness you so richly deserve and are worth.




8 years ago

I'm sorry you are upset! Of course it is not you, it is the culture of the company, and that is a darn good reason to get out of it. I hope you find the right thing soon, and an employer who will recognize his/her great good luck in landing you.

It is indeed very hard to look for work while you are employed, but once you have a basic resume and cover letter in shape, the rest is mostly just keeping your eyes peeled. At least, until you get to interviews--which you will be sure to do!




8 years ago

((Lynn)) I know that something fantastic is just around the corner for you. :kiss: