Tuesday, Jun 18 2013
View SAXONHARP's food & exercise for this day
I am trying to get back here more often. I do keep in touch with a lot of people via facebook BUT I really miss all the details.
Some things are going really well in my life and some things are pretty stinky honestly.
I will start with the good. I have been able to maintain my weight at 228, finally staying out of the 230s. The running has been going very well. Summer time for me is smaller races and speed work and my longest runs on the weekend are 70 minutes. It is a nice break but training team will be starting mid-July. I am excited about it but I am going to enjoy not having to wake up at 5am on Sunday mornings for another month. Luckily the weather has not been too crazy hot, only a day or 2 here and there. It looks like this weekend it is going to change though.
Speed work has been going well. This is my 3rd year of speed work and I am finally feeling more comfortable with it. I am in group 5 which is for people who have a goal of completing a 5K in 29:00 or higher. The first year I was always the second to last person to finish, last year I was in the middle of the pack. This year I am in the front fourth! Seeing that is pretty cool. I did PR on my 5K this past weekend. 29:26! The goal was to break 29:30. Tim thinks I can break 29:00 minutes this year! Another thing I have been doing is a lot of pacing this summer. My best friend has turned into a crazy runner person and is signing up for a lot of 5Ks, I have paced her on 3 5Ks and she is doing great. It is so much fun helping people run.
Tim has me pacing at speedwork too! He had me pace the 1 mile time trial. It was an easier pace for me but it was so fun helping people do a sub 10 minute mile!!! I feel so blessed that I found such a great group of runners. It is a good thing too....
Well, home life really stinks. My husband got fired from his full time HR position. This was supposed to be his dream job. He only lasted 5 months! Honestly I was really getting frustrated with him because I just could not get him away from the TV, I know he was depressed but every time I could try to talk to him about stuff it just turns into a 2 week fight. I needed to tell him things that were really bothering me and I had already set up a session to meet with a counselor to talk about how to handle the situation BUT before I had the session I found out Jason got fired. I am sure it is because he was not listening to what they really wanted, if he was anything like he was at home I would fire him too. So we went to the counseling session together. I am really not happy in my marriage, I haven't been for a while. Jason has lost his job every 2 years the past 16 years. I just don't know if I can do this again. We agreed his HR career is over. Right now he plans on going back to school for nursing. He recognizes that he is losing me BUT he needs to take care of Jason. He has troubles tying his shoes, putting on a seat belt. My daughters don't want to talk to him anymore because he is unreasonable with them.
I am going to try very hard to make this marriage work but right now I am very emotionless towards him. I have been putting up a wall for many years and it is going to take some time to take it down brick by brick. Unfortunately I do not feel comfortable talking to him about big items so we have to wait until our counseling session tomorrow. I am going to have to say some uncomfortable things.
The only good that has come out of this is that I am not turning to food! At least there I am handling things well. I spent the last couple weeks constantly crying and now I am in kind of that numb/angry phase.