WILLLOSEIT's CalorieKing blog

Thursday, Apr 30 2009 - the elusive butterfly

View WILLLOSEIT's food & exercise for this day

Hi Everyone,

It seems I am better at blogging than losing weight. I joined CK 2 years ago and basically I am still the same weight. Some of my life has changed, some of the people in my life have changed and my weight has fluctuated a couple of times, but still here I am back at the starting line.

But l love to write and share my musings on life; from the little nuances that shade my days to the grander questions that complicate my mind on any given day. I guess the grandest of all questions for me is the "Why can't I ever seem to get to that "healthy"weight I have been trying to get to my entire life; The elusive "perfect" number that has changed dozens of times? I am sure most of you ask this very same question every single day. I don't think there is an answer to this question, but rather an acceptance that we have to keep trying and perhaps when we get there, we'll know. Does that make sense?

Anyway, I stopped writing for awhile. I allowed myself to wallow in a bit of self pity mixed in with a lot of regrets and a couple of towels thrown in for good measure. I kept my feelings to myself and ate my way through family arguments, sibling issues (still at this age), my parents dependence and finally my mom's recent illness and eventual death. I didn't read a book, write a word, look for a job and hardly enjoyed life for a year or so. I allowed the circle of life to upset and crush me when I should have embraced, mourned and accepted the sadness as life's natural course and move on. I can see so clearly when I look in the rear view mirror.

And so here I am again; feeling stronger and ready to put one foot in front of the other and move. I just hope this time I can make it to the finish line.

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4 comments so far.


9 years ago

:hi: You know what they say "hindsight is 20/20". Looking back doesn't do you any good. You can't move forward if you are looking back. It's one baby step at a time and you get to your goal. I am so glad to see you back here and to have you as a friend on FB. I missed you so much. :love: :kiss:




9 years ago

I'm glad to see you back Grace, I've been MIA for too long also. No regrets, just take it one day at a time so they say. Sorry to hear about your loss and troubles, this too will get better. Tree




9 years ago

Grace you will reach your goal I have confidence in you girl:thumbu2:




9 years ago

Should haves don't do any of us any good. You lived, you learned and now you are back and we are here, glad you are and now we can all help each other! :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: I am truly sorry for your loss and your struggles. You are a darling, wonderful, caring soul. Glad to have you back. :kiss: