ARTISTSANDIE's CalorieKing blog
Thursday, Feb 9 2012 - My "Options" week starts Thursdays,todays thoughts
View ARTISTSANDIE's food & exercise for this day
After reviewing my returned food log with its comments I set forth a new plan for my breakfast. After trying to add a full serving of Canadian bacon, way to salty, I used another egg. So I feel it was a balanced meal with vegetable, fruit, and protein. This also upped my protein intake for the morning meal.
I am still concerned about exceeding my 1120 calories for the day. Notes in my food log from the nutritionist say, 1200. In the past exceeding that count caused weight gain. When I think about the difference in the calorie count of 180, it seems silly that would impact any program. I will bump my intake to 1200 as I am here to try new ideas and make changes to my lifestyle that will promote a healthy life. So dropping resistance to change will only help me, seems that old way has not worked well.
I am concerned about having surgery, so drastic. I had thought after my first four pound loss in a week I might be able to drop the weight with just the Options program. Sixteen pounds a month would do that as quickly as the Dr. wanted. I would be able to have hip replacements also faster. Yet this past week with no weight loss at all was a pull back to my reality. Why am I here? I am doing this because all other efforts have failed over the years. I sit here and look and my packed bookshelf of used food journals and a bookcase of nutritional reference books. I can give you calorie counts on many foods now without looking it up. Yes those books are then followed by cookbooks filled with the hundreds of calorie light meals. I have recipe boxes fill with converted recipes, low sodium and low calorie. I am on my fourth food scale as I wore out the others. Each scale has increased in grade as well as cost. I have a medical weight scale haunting me in my laundry room. Still I am fat, obese and hurting. The only thing that took off my weight was starvation and that is not healthy and no way to live, more like die slowly. So I am going into this week feeling defeated so now is the time to look at my, Stinking Thinking.
Failing, how does that make me feel? I feel hopeless and helpless. Yes and the takes away my Captain of my own universe.
Be here now. Living in the present and not letting the past or the future affect my thinking or choices. Now this can be a hard nut to crack, requires I stop and rethink, not allow myself to move forward on impulse actions or thoughts that lead to the that spiral downward. When I feel like I have failed, lost control, been bad, I feel very sad. I lose the prospective of life around me and my sense of self and allow that feeling of failure to determine who I am and what I cannot do. When I feel this I then need to choose to think, I think I can, I think I will. I generate my own stress, now there is a concept, an epiphany. Perhaps I need to spend more time with my mediation. I have the tools, but I need that commitment, again fear of failing rears its ugly head. I wonder if I knew the root of this feeling and thinking it might be more manageable. Or just put on my Big Girl, panties and get on with life.
Leaving my comfort zone. I have all I want here at home, I tell myself, this on an ongoing dialog. I have let my friends slip away as they can walk and do things and I feel like a burden and even angry at times that they take their mobility for granted. Yet I have been prone for many years now to be less social, yes my weight. I just do not like going outside my safe zone, my home. I have feelings of insecurity and am self-conscience. I have feelings of little self-worth. So I have more Stinking Thinking , to deal with. This is leading to shut-in behavior on my part, of course supported by my mobility issues. To think is to create, well that was slightly distorted for me into a form of denial. Also you cannot just wish for something to change, or save you. I have to put in the work, the commitment and move forward in time, get on with my life goals. I had even given up on my art, never be good enough. I lost a passion, lost who I am. I am slowly regaining that as I challenge my thinking process. I am now starting to do a little art. Doing art makes me happy.
I am still concerned about exceeding my 1120 calories for the day. Notes in my food log from the nutritionist say, 1200. In the past exceeding that count caused weight gain. When I think about the difference in the calorie count of 180, it seems silly that would impact any program. I will bump my intake to 1200 as I am here to try new ideas and make changes to my lifestyle that will promote a healthy life. So dropping resistance to change will only help me, seems that old way has not worked well.
I am concerned about having surgery, so drastic. I had thought after my first four pound loss in a week I might be able to drop the weight with just the Options program. Sixteen pounds a month would do that as quickly as the Dr. wanted. I would be able to have hip replacements also faster. Yet this past week with no weight loss at all was a pull back to my reality. Why am I here? I am doing this because all other efforts have failed over the years. I sit here and look and my packed bookshelf of used food journals and a bookcase of nutritional reference books. I can give you calorie counts on many foods now without looking it up. Yes those books are then followed by cookbooks filled with the hundreds of calorie light meals. I have recipe boxes fill with converted recipes, low sodium and low calorie. I am on my fourth food scale as I wore out the others. Each scale has increased in grade as well as cost. I have a medical weight scale haunting me in my laundry room. Still I am fat, obese and hurting. The only thing that took off my weight was starvation and that is not healthy and no way to live, more like die slowly. So I am going into this week feeling defeated so now is the time to look at my, Stinking Thinking.
Failing, how does that make me feel? I feel hopeless and helpless. Yes and the takes away my Captain of my own universe.
Be here now. Living in the present and not letting the past or the future affect my thinking or choices. Now this can be a hard nut to crack, requires I stop and rethink, not allow myself to move forward on impulse actions or thoughts that lead to the that spiral downward. When I feel like I have failed, lost control, been bad, I feel very sad. I lose the prospective of life around me and my sense of self and allow that feeling of failure to determine who I am and what I cannot do. When I feel this I then need to choose to think, I think I can, I think I will. I generate my own stress, now there is a concept, an epiphany. Perhaps I need to spend more time with my mediation. I have the tools, but I need that commitment, again fear of failing rears its ugly head. I wonder if I knew the root of this feeling and thinking it might be more manageable. Or just put on my Big Girl, panties and get on with life.
Leaving my comfort zone. I have all I want here at home, I tell myself, this on an ongoing dialog. I have let my friends slip away as they can walk and do things and I feel like a burden and even angry at times that they take their mobility for granted. Yet I have been prone for many years now to be less social, yes my weight. I just do not like going outside my safe zone, my home. I have feelings of insecurity and am self-conscience. I have feelings of little self-worth. So I have more Stinking Thinking , to deal with. This is leading to shut-in behavior on my part, of course supported by my mobility issues. To think is to create, well that was slightly distorted for me into a form of denial. Also you cannot just wish for something to change, or save you. I have to put in the work, the commitment and move forward in time, get on with my life goals. I had even given up on my art, never be good enough. I lost a passion, lost who I am. I am slowly regaining that as I challenge my thinking process. I am now starting to do a little art. Doing art makes me happy.
4 comments so far.
4.
a decade ago
DONZI, It took time to get my medication right and I even had to switch to a different brand of thyroid replacement hormone. I do wonder at times if it works at all as I am tired, yet I am on tramadol so I am sure that does not help my alertness. I do not have my hair falling out in clumps anymore and my skin no longer cracks and bleeds. Yet some of the effects of loos of thyroid still haunt me. Science still is not a good as the real thing. I have been following the discussions on natural thyroid replacement hormone. Some have had great success and feel better than they have in years making that change. I plan on asking my Dr. about it next visit. Back to the metabolic disease insulin resistance, in horses we use diet and then medication with diet. Of course exercise also is a factor for horses to keep them stable. In diet induced syndrome many times this can be reversed, however in genetic hereditary disease it is treated for life. I am thinking from what you said it is about the same for people. It is strange that the insulin works so efficiently to transport the glucose into the cells, yet so hard for it to transport it out to be metabolized. Thank you again for the heads up on this. I did do some research and saw a few indicators I do not have, but I do have a couple as well. I hope you get your thyroid issues under control quickly as you will feel so much better. I felt mentally better rather quickly, much less depression.
by ARTISTSANDIE
3.
a decade ago
For my insulin resistance, I take Metformin. Some people have side effects from it but it has never bothered me. I know that others have tried to control it through diet but that never worked for me. Even taking the Metformin, I have to eat like a diabetic would, counting my carbs at meals. As long as I count carbs and calories, I generally lost weight. I am fighting thyroid problems now.
by DONZI
2.
a decade ago
Thank you DONZI, yes I am on thyroid medacation. I have no function at all. I had a full psychical before I was placed in the Kiser options program. I am on the list for bariatric gastric bypass surgery, pre-op now. Now I was asked to eat 1460 calories a day. I was so fearful the Dr. and diet nutritionist said they would let me try 1200 as I was doing 1120 and losing about 4 pounds a week. Yet last week I failed at that. Did not gain anything, just lost nothing, My exercise coach said it might be muscle gain from the movement and the upped protein. Requested I take body measurements this week and log them here or in my food journal. We are also reviewing my food logs to see if I have an error as well. I will ask DR. if I had a test for insulin resistance,. Easy Keeper EMD we call it in horses. Thank you for taking you time to read my blog and give me input. I will ask and make sure as surgery is so drastic.
by ARTISTSANDIE
1.
a decade ago
1200 calories is really low. Even I am at 1400. I assume, but feel the need to ask, that you've been checked medically for things like insulin resistance and thyroid? For me, insulin resistance was the big one. Until I got that under control, I gained weight no matter what I ate. If you haven't been checked, you might want to consider it. Hope things get better for you.
by DONZI