Today was a weird day....my hubby worked a different shift as a favor to someone and it messed us all up. I still managed to get a short bike ride in and keep within my calories, so it wasn't that bad, but it's hard when the normal routine is messed with.

Not much going on, I'm working a lot this week (a lot for me is 20 hrs) so, the week will probably go by fast. I am looking forward to my family getting the presents that I got them for christmas. I already gave my son 2 early christmas presents. I have to stop that.....I will run out of stuff by the 25th. I JUST CAN'T WAIT!!! he he he.

Christmas isn't the same without a little kid around. Bear is 14 now and still a "kid", but it's not as fun for me. That includes Halloween, Easter, Birthdays and other stuff that used to be a big deal. Now, his favorite holiday is July 4th because he loves setting off fireworks in the street. I looked all over the toy department trying to think of some "toy" to get him, but I just don't know. He has a remote controlled helicopter that he likes and I saw one that comes in a two-pack where they can shoot each other out of the air...but it's 70 bucks and I don't know if he will even like something like that anymore. That's too much money to waste on something he will use only once. That's why I bought up a bunch of Playstation 2 games....I know he will play them. I am consulting my husband on what kind of toy we can get him, we'll see what he says.

I have been having "baby fever" for about a year now. I really loved raising Bear, and still love it, so I think I have enough love to raise another child. I went off Birth Control when I turned 34, then went back on a couple of months later because I figured I'm not ready....I didn't like my job and I wasn't homeschooling Bear yet. Now I am 35, went off Birthcontrol again this past October just in case I am ready eventually....Dr. told me it will take me a long time to be able to conceive because I have been on the BC pill for over 10 years. I told my hubby that I want to lose 50 lbs before I get pregnant....I am using that as a motivator. So, hopefully before next October (36th birthday) I get both my wishes...to be 50+ lbs less and conceive a child.

Sometimes I think I am crazy. I never wanted any more kids. I figured I have one perfect one, that was enough. I always looked forward to my 40's because I got pregnant at such a young age, I never got to really be an adult without a kid. I thought that when Bear got old enough to be self sufficient, I would get out more, work on my career and just have fun. I missed out on a lot of fun when I was home with the baby and my friends were having fun. I thought I would make up for lost time. But now that it's happening.......I'm not ready for it to be over. Our house would come alive with another kid. Bear is the best kid ever.....he loves little kids.....I think he would have fun watching a little brother or sister grow up. He always told me he didn't want a brother or sister....but lately....he has changed his tune. Without me even bringing it up, he said he thinks we (our family) would really like having a little kid around and he said "how about it, guys, want to have another kid?" It was weird, but nice.

Think baby thoughts for me. I'd like to lose some weight first, but if I get pregnant now, I would be happy!