Whew! It's finally Friday!

Too much sadness....
I was on my way in to work when Em called.... her husband got the call last night that a beloved great uncle had died of a heart attack. The entire family is so devastated. Em feels so upset for them and yet kind of helpless to them as well.... I understand. She and I were discussing that only through our spouses have we experienced any kind of extended family... We both have great parents and siblings but only through Matt have I been able to revel in the overwhelming love of aunts and uncles and cousins and all the extras. I couldn't bear to lose any one of them as they have come to mean so much to me.

Then as I walked in to work I had an email that a good friend here has a daughter (21 yrs old) who's boyfriend died in a motorcycle accident last night. She is due with his child in Feb. I don't even know how to begin relating to that kind of loss....Everyone here is pretty quiet this morning which feels so odd because usually the Friday before a big Ohio State game the place in going nuts....

All of this is just as I am reflecting on the fact that the 9/11 anniversary is coming up.... Matt wanted to fly into N.J. on that morning and I am selfishly relieved there were no available flights as early as he wanted one. He is flying in the day before.

It's sinking in....
I usually deal with stress and fear and impending dissapointment by blocking it from my mind altogether. Then when I am faced with it at the moment it occurs I only have to deal with it then and there. I have never been a fan of allowing undo stress if I could help it. This is prolly why I did really well in public speaking classes in college and when I have spoken a handful of times on gardening subjects. I don't envision any of it until that very moment that I am in front of people and I don't have time to get nervous!
So, anyways.... this method has worked very well for me about... oh, 32 years now.
Until I have to prepare for Matt being gone.
I don't know what it is. We have an unusual bond. We are so blessed to have so many mutual hobbies that we are pretty much together almost every moment that we aren't away at work.

-------------side bar....

So the first time (in my first marriage) around I was content with doing my thing and he did his mostly...
That is not why we didn't make it by all means but when I was given a second chance at marriage I decided not to do it like the first time!
Matt and I do have an extraordinary bond and I wake up so grateful every day. He is a wonderful man and a true mystery as far as men go....

I think that we will learn alot as we both have secret fears based on our past marriages and yet we both try to act so strong... It will be healthy for us to exist apart and I am confident will only make us stronger.

I am truly the most fortunate woman alive and feel I am living a dream...

-----------------------side bar over...

I got up early to run a little longer so I could have some 'time to think'. Running has saved my emotional state more times than I can count and boy am I grateful for that! I anticipate a few evening easy runs after work while he is gone just to re-group and dispel some stress and sadness

I know that he will need alot of support and I will have to be a strong sounding board for him. I hear that the staff is none too thrilled that the corporate big wigs think they need outside help. I'm sure that he will have alot on his 'plate'. So I need to remember that it is certainly not all about me.

Today...
Got up a few minutes after 4:30 and ran 6.57 miles in 58 minutes That was just under 9 min miles. Pretty good for me! Poppin' the advil because the ol' knee is complaining. Pretty sure that is a shoe issue. I typically don't put this many miles on a pair. Need to get a new pair this weekend or the first of next week...

Burned quite a few calories but I only brought the standard fare so if we go out to dinner I will have plenty of options. I know 'options' are not always good for me but it's one of the last evenings with Matt for the next month and I plan on making the best of our time together. With the calories I have available I'm in good shape.

This weekend...
Given that this is the last couple of days for awhile Matt cancelled his golf outing for Sunday to stay close to me I know, I am totally spoiled.
So tonight, maybe dinner... tomorrow we both work in the am and then together prolly packing him up the afternoon and then football parties at 8pm and the another party after half-time. We are staying at the second place all night. Great friends. Good food. I am resolved and confident that I will do well. I think I may adopt the hubby's method. Beer only, no food Maybe not

It's going to be an interesting month. God bless my NoMo's... I'm gonna need ya!

RMM

799.5 miles run in 2006! 200.5 left!

I forgot to mention that this morning on the way to work on the radio they announced.... "Your 10K is minutes away!" I was thinking... I didn't know there was a race this morning... how did I miss that? Then I realized they were talking about $10,000.00. Yeah, I think it's Friday!!