I am one of those firm believers that what goes on in your "thought life" has a tremendous impact on your "outward life." You always think about doing something before you actually do it so your thoughts are of monumental importance. With that said, I am going through one hell of a "thought war" with myself. I know I am not the first perfectly happy married person to find myself attracted to someone who is not my perfectly wonderful spouse, but it is MY first time. Wow...this sucks. I feel it is a normal thing to have to go through and it is probably one of those things that ends up bringing you closer to your husband. But, the process is horrible.

I feel like writing it out to help me work through it, but I don't know where, or what to write that would help get me on the positive side of it. I am reminded of something I heard on a Christian radio broadcast a while back on one of my roadtrips and I remember thinking that the pastor talking was completely looney. It's funny how that lunacy sounds like sound advice right now and I am thankful that I heard it...Basically, the guy was talking about building a hedge around your marriage and to never put yourslef in a position where your marriage can be compromised. Of course, he went way over the top with it, but his suggestions are fresh on my mind--along with the not so pleasant thoughts. A crazy pastor and a guy I am attracted to are duking it out in my brain...LOL.

I should find a way to discuss this with my husband. He's very good for me and I know he would understand, but I don't think I'm ready, yet. He will undoubtedly be the benficiary of this attraction because I'll have to focus that "energy" on someone, right? Hmmm...I wonder what he is doing right now.....