After watching Oprah's show on Monday and listening to her talk about her self discovery of why she gained the weight and what she plans to do about it, I have come to conclusion that I can not identify with her. She spoke about loving yourself enough to make time for yourself to exercise, plan meals, etc. At the end of her show, she and her trainer, Bob Green, asked some questions for the viewers to think about and answer. Well, one of the questions was why are you overweight?

To show you how shallow I am, my response is "because I ate more calories than I burned." Why did I make the choice to eat the cheesecake, potato chips or other delights? Because they taste good. I do not eat because I feel sad, happy, or angry. I'm not an emotional eater. Being the superficial person that I am, my answers to why I do what I do have a more simple answer. I do what I do, because I live in the moment. I don't think past, if I eat the cheesecake, I'll gain weight or I will have to exercise to burn off the extra calories. I think, yum, cheesecake takes good, I will have pleasure eating the cheesecake.

I don't think, I'm an unhappy person. My weight is an embarrassment. It does stop me from doing some of the things that I would like to do. But for the majority of the time, I spend my life doing what I want to do. I am happy for the moments of each day. I do have my sad moments, thinking about my son's deployment, etc. But for the most part, those moments are short lived and I move forward to the happy moments.

The other thing in my life that motivates me is fun. If it is fun, I'll do it. If it is not fun, then I will struggle. Which is why I struggle with exercising and eating right. Exercising is not fun. Getting on the treadmill and walking is not fun. But going on a hike in the woods is fun. Dancing is fun. Playing soccer, field hockey, and swimming in high school was fun. Playing in the ocean is fun. I can think of a lot of fun activities that burn calories. But in Utah, going for a hike is a seasonal activity and winter is not the time for hiking. The ocean is far away. Doing laps in the pool at the gym isn't the same as playing in the water at the beach. It takes a team to play soccer and I'm not on any team for that. In the winter months, I am reduced to exercising at the gym or dancing in my living room, and only one of those activities is fun.

Being an "in the moment" kind of person has its advantages and disadvantages. Advantages: I can move on quickly. I do not feel as deeply as others do (which is a good thing and a bad thing). Disadvanges: I don't love as deeply as others do. Pain is a motivator, but my pain is never deep enough for motivation. Sticking with things is hard for me to do.

So Oprah is a profound, thought provoking person. The only thing that she and I have in common is that we both need to lose weight. And I need to lose more weight than she does. Either way, we both struggle, she with her weight and soul. . . and me. . .the weight.