12:25 PM
OK so get this, i know this is bad, but i weighed myslef this morning and i was down to 280.4. THEN! I went to the bathroom (still didn't eat anything) and I was 279.4! WHAT IN THE WORLD?! I'm not going to put too much though into it, but I think I'm seeing that it really doesn't matter what time you eat at, but the earlier you stop eating (esp. before weigh in day) the better your weight will be in the AM. So whatever, this has been a rough week. I've wanted to just GIVE UP so many times but I look at my tattoo on my wrist (it says "Anything is Possible" in arabic) and I just try to keep pushing. I've been listening to the India.Arie CD when I work out and its very very spiritual. It's been like key to my mental healing and health. It has made me appreciate a lot of things in life. I want to get an Ipod so I can make a work out mix but i have to download the right download site. Oh well. Anywho, the first month is over, I'm losing, I feel a smidge better, and I just can't wait to start seeing results! Oh yea, Biggest Loser comes on tonight and i HAVE to watch it b/c it offers my weekly inspiration. AND, one more thing: PROJECT RUNWAY FINALE! I sure hope Michael wins. He's the best. I may write more later...

9:30 PM
SO! Today was a great day. I had a wonderful night's sleep (always good), a pretty good workout, and I wasn't really "starving" today! Then, my shining moment, tonight i realized I had gone under my calories and I was like, well what do I do?!" I was thinking well maybe I need to consume 300 calories in like an hour to be OK. But then, BFF came to the rescue and was like, "don't try to stuff it all in. Just eat some fruit and call it a day". And that's exactly what I did! I ate an apple (w/no skin) and some water and decided to just chill. I feel great about that decision too! Granted, I should have been tracking my calories better, but theres no reason to go stuff my face to be at 1200. At least, thats what im telling myself. Tomorrow I am going to weigh-in just so I can be on track with my new Thursday weigh-ins. I'm excited. I am just in such a great mood! I'm motivated, I feel good, and I am just happy! I'm watching the biggest loser and i've realized i should use it strictly for motivational purposes & not as a basis for how much I should lose b/c these ppl workout twice a day and have probably never exercised regularly and i'm an ex-athlete. Ah well. Life is good!