1:40pm
I hate being single. I haven't been as single as I am now in...years. I HATE being single. I am one of those people who HATES being alone and loves the companionship another person can offer. And I don't even want a "Boyfriend", maybe just someone to talk to or hang out with or be friends with! It's hard because I'm a new girl at a new school, believe it or not, I'm very cautious in social situations - although I tend to be very outgoing & fun - and it's just difficult for me to get out of my comfort zone & meet new people. I don't really hang out with "friends" because I don't really have any here. All of my "real" friends are either in Cleveland or Virginia. My ex is apparently moving on and it sucks because it was cool when i felt like we still had a "connection" but now it's like non-existent. They have someone new and I'm all by myself. I need some socialization, some interaction. I don't want to go out by myself (it's always good to have at least one person to go out with). I'm just feeling very lonely. Somehow, I'm keeping it together with my food today but I'm just so bored & lonely. I guess it's good that I work all the time to keep my mind off of it. 13 days until Virginia!

7:37pm
So, forget food therapy or retail therapy: EXERCISE THERAPY IS THE WAY TO GO! I've been having the craziest day. I've just been feeling really crappy and uncomfortable with this semi-new found singleness & I was just in a sad place. Well, i went and worked out and now, while I'm not feeling great about being single, I'm not as pissed off as I was earlier. I guess it's OK to be single. I mean, I don't think I'd want to be in a relationship just to be in a relationship. I do have standards , so despite my frustration, I shouldn't just settle to say I have someone. I know it sounds like I've just "got it together", but I do still hate beng single I dunno, the stress really isn't worth it. Me being healthy really should be my first priority. I was working out and I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt really good with the progress I've made thus far. I think I am unofficially at 40 but I'm looking to officially weigh in at -40 this Thursday. I guess today taught me more about myself in dealing with bad days & dealing with negative stress that you don't have to eat and you can do things like get moving to kind of alleviate the negativity. I'm proud of myself

9:13pm
MAN! I am craving a brownie right now really bad . I don't have my car right now, but when my friend comes back with it, I may have to run to the gas station for a mouthful of joy. I've been really craving dessert lately! I would love a brownie right now...esp a turtle brownie. Yum. Or Raisinets. No, a brownie would make my life right now. LoL