1:32pm EST
I'm sitting at work bored out of my mind. After my supervisor gets out of my meeting, I'm going to see if she has anything for me to do, and if not, if I can leave early. I usally don't mind sitting around doing nothing, but I was really hoping to get a workout in before I go to work. I'm so excited to get to the fitness center. It's like seeing an old friend after a while and wanting them to see how you've changed since you last saw them. I can't wait to get on the Arc Trainer and just kick it in the head - wow, didn't mean it that violently but hopefully you catch my drift. I've planned 45 mins on the Arc Trainer, 15 mins on the Elliptical and maybe a little ab work (I'm sick of the love handles and the hang-over gut action - it's gotta go). This AM I weighed in at 254.8 which is good. I'd love to hang steady at 254.8 or even get to 254.0 even for Thursday. That would get me down to -42lbs. I love weigh-in day, it's like a weekly holiday.

Lately I've really been craving fast food. I don't know what it is. I really want some mall chinese food. Have you ever noticed when you're at your local commercial mall, and there are the chinese "restaurants" (i.e. Sarku Japan, others that usally sell Bourbon/Orange/Sesame Chicken w/fried rice) with the people who ask you for samples that they actually have boxes on the ground as guidelines for the people who hand them out? They are supposed to stay in the box so they can't chase mall patrons with their chicken (which I almost have no doubt they'd do if they didn't have restrictions). I've always wondered what kind of lives the Asians who work at all these places live outside of their businesses. I mean they do our nails, they sell our hair, they give us pseudo-chinese food, they own our convenience stores (well, at least in the 'hood - lol), I wonder just how much they profit off of us consumers. I'd assume a lot.

Yesterday work was awesome. I was in and out in 3 hours. They were trying to get me to stay as long as possible, but I was ready to GO! I'm off tomorrow which excites me so I can go to this kickboxing class i've wanted to go to for a while. I've never done kickboxing but I can only imagine it would be a lot of fun.

This woman at work ordered this HUGE bowl of pasta for lunch (and it looked good) but with my knowledge now of portion sizes, I was like wow, that is at least 4 or 5 portions of pasta (and of course it wasn't whole wheat either, so the calories are way high of course). thats almost 600 - 700 calories alone , and we haven't even gotten to the meat sauce. I think about if that were me a couple of months ago, and I probably would have attempted to eat the whole thing.

I'm a lot happier now that I am in control of my eating and my body. I'm learning that I can be very controlling with my life. I often try to manipulate situations so I can determine the outcome so I can spare my emotions. I guess one thing I'm learning is that if I can (attempt to) control everything in my life, I might as well control my health! I love being able to know how much I am putting in my body. I like the control I have. Oh, by the way, my diet buddy has officially lost 30lbs. I am super proud of her, but she's extremely hard headed and knows what to do but she doesn't listen. She doesn't like to eat and I honestly think she has a border-line eating disorder but I'm trying to encourage her to eat and get food in her body. Can you be anorexic/bullimic if you weigh 250+ lbs? I don't know. I haven't really done much about it just because I don't think it's anything serious, but I do often question her eating habits. I don't know, hopefully she can get things together so I don't have to call A&E and get an intervention (poor judgment with a poor insertion of a "joke".

OK, I'm going to stop writing because I'm seeing I could go on for days! Maybe I'll write more later...toodles!

10:54pm
Next week, I am giving these people my notice. I hate working hard and being treated like crap. They had the NERVE to say I am not "dedicated" enough because I left early twice (both of which were approved by management) and because I left TWO boxes (which I didn't even see yesterday). I worked my #$& off to get their stupid stock room in order and they are just so stupid and disorganized. I can't stand it. SO when i go get my check next Friday (I really should have signed up for DD but I can't find my checks!), I'm going to give them my notice. I refuse to work for people who are disorganized and...stupid. (For anyone who is into Top 40 pop and/or R&B)I am dedicating "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce to that stupid place. "They must not know 'bout me, They must not know 'bout me..." Big dumbies...Anywho, I ate some sodium-filled bourbon chicken & steamed veggies for dinner and it was great. I actually was a lot more fulfilled having weighed my chicken (i just dug into the veggies) & actually measuring my portions rather than just eating all willy nilly. Anywho, I gotta get some sleep. I have to work tomorrow AND go to kickboxing!Goodie.

11:56pm
I have such an old soul! I'm listening to some songs I downloaded by The Whispers jammin like I'm straight outta 1970. I love Old School stuff. My friends think I'm weird because I'd rather listen to my parents records & 8-tracks (in theory - not in reality. I've never used either one) than today's rap. Old school music had real emotion, real feeling, REAL TALENT. I love just sitting in my camping chair listening to music. Puts a smile on my face. OK, I really need to go to sleep. Just one more song...