Can I do it? Can I do it?! IT looks like I'm going to be able to blog todaY! FINALLY! MY LIFE HAS PURPOSE!

Oh my goodness, not blogging yesterday made me feel so empty! I had to blog on my Myspace and I hated every minute of it. It just didn't feel the same. I'm a lot more open here then I am there. Plus, I can talk about this stupid "new way of life" in a way that i can't there. ANYWHO! So I went to Kickboxing again last night anticipating that maybe the last class was a fluke and yesterday's class was much better than the first one. I think that the boxing gloves and the bag were a distraction and I think that she was a lot more focused. I really enjoyed it. And to ensure I wasn't disappointed by the class, i did 45mins on the Arc Trainer before the class. My legs were jell-o by the time I got to class, but I stayed hydrated and really tried to increase my intensity so I could get the most out of it. I asked her about how many calories she "estimated" we burned in this class and she said 600 - 900 which I strong don't believe. I'll stick to CK's 450 or whatever. So the class was actually lots of fun.

My weight loss has slowed down significantly. I guess I didn't expect it three months into it, but I had lost such a significant amount of weight in such a short amount of time I guess it was bound to happen. I'm not really upset, it's just kind of weird. It's like when the weight was coming off in gobs, I felt accomplished and like what I was doing was working. Now that it's slower I'm second guessing "Am I doing this right?" I just have to stay focused and keep my eye on the prize so I don't get side tracked.

My best friend and I scheduled going to the gym Monday and Tuesday while I'm in VA. I'm going to buy Tae Bo also so I can work out at home in Cleveland and on off days in VA. So I feel good that i have workouts planned. I'm going to buy Raisin Bran, skim milk, & bananas when I get there so I can have breakfast set every day. I just have to figure out what I'll do for the rest of the meals! I can't believe that in a few days I'll be driving down my old street visiting old friends. I'm excited.

So, the newest drama with ex-boyfriend. No "drama" but I still have crazy feelings about this guy. We've been talking every night about life and what he's been through in the past three years and it seems like he's been through hell. I kind of wrote him off when we were younger because of crazy trust issues I had that i took out on him, but a lot of our relationship was a huge misunderstanding. I understand why a lot of things played out the way they did. I feel like crap because pretty much this guy was in love with me and really wanted me to help him make his life better and when I left for college, he resented me for leaving him similar to the way his mom abandoned him. He's had a rough life, much rougher than my suburban life. I can't help but feel like I want to give him a better life because I know I can give it to him. I know that he needs me to push him to be more successful than anyone else in his family has. He needs me to push him to strive for his goals that he can achieve. I know it's not my job to "save" him, but I feel like he just needs my push. He and I started dating when I was only 13 and we dated throughout high school and then when I went to college things abruptly ended. I just feel like there is a reason we still talk and there is a reason why I still have strong feelings for him & vice versa. I just don't know if this "investment" is worth it.

Speaking of "investment", I recently saw someone on CK who is pretty cute! I was like "shorty swing my wayyyyy" (thats an old song). Oh, the possibilities of a Matt & Susie, CK style. Hahahaha I'm such a dork. Being single makes me delirious. So I just heard I have to be at work tomorrow at 8 tomorrow for a FOUR HOUR MEETING. When am I going to eat?! This blows. I'll have to eat when I first get here I guess. I don't like eating that early.

I'm so glad the blogs are back up. Life is complete. LoL I'll probably write more later. I just have to actually work. Toodles!

11:40am
My best friend is finally deciding to give Calorie King a try. I really hope she loves it as much as i do. I think she will if she just gives it a shot. I love her and I can't wait to see her! Yay.

1:20pm
So we just had a "potluck" at my job and I am so proud of myself! They had desserts galore (pumpkin cookies, yellow cake w/buttercream frosting, white chocolate oreo balls, etc) but I didn't do bad! I had a appx 4oz of grilled chicken breast, about 2 tbls of "kous-kous" (sp), about 1/2 cup of homemade chili, and 1 1/2 pumpkin cookies (the cookies were SO good. The one whole cookie was pretty small and then I split another w/a co-worker). I am proud of myself! I really showed restraint that i never showed before! And on the 2nd 1/2 cookie, I wiped off most of the frosting. Go me. I am so happy my BFF is here. I think she really likes it here. She wrote me and was like, "OMG, the people are so nice - in an internet kinda way" I'm like, what did you expect?! Go BFF. Anywho, I have to work tonight and i do NOT want to go. Oh well, it's only 5 hours...I guess. Yesterday, this is gross, but I had the WORST gas in kickboxing! I had a lot of fiber yesterday, so the whole class I was just trying to hold it in b/c I knew if I let it slip - even the smallest amount - it would make the whole class pass out. LoL We were on the ground doing these yoga-esque moves and I was like, "dear Jesus, don't let it pass". Luckily it didn't. I'm so sick of having gas! Oh well.

4:04pm
OH MY GOSH!! I know this is TMI, but I have had the worst gas for the past couple of days. It's so annoying! Will it just go away ?!?! If its not helping me lose weight, I don't want it. It's so embarassing! Hopefully it will settle before I go to work.

10:37pm
Just got home from work #2. It was cool. There was some new guy there who was annoying the crap outta me, but luckily he helped me get done with shipment in 3 hours. So I spent the last 2 hours just twiddling my fingers. Just one more day at Aldo and its home to Cleveland to go home to VA. It's been a good day. I'm excited for kick boxing tomorrow. It's actually pretty fun. Anywho, I should probably get in the shower and then go to bed, it's going to be a long one tomorrow. Good night CKers!